


Dinner

by Bunny7799



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Annie in a crystal, Armin is REALLY smart, Badass Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Badass Mikasa Ackerman, Blood, Cannibal Eren, Eren Yeager Needs a Hug, Eren eventually goes to court, Eren has a lot of things going on in his head, Eren is afraid of becoming a titan, Eren is scared of eating someone, Eren wants to eat a human, Eren's inner voice, Eren's inner voice is his titan side, Eren's inner world, Fear, Hange Zoë's Experiments, Headaches & Migraines, Horse Face, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Insomniac Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), LOTS OF SPOILERS, Levi Is Bad At Feelings, Nile Dok Is A Jerk, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Female Titan Arc, Protective Mikasa, Rain, Screaming, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Tags Contain Spoilers, Tags May Change, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Thunder - Freeform, Titan Shifters, Titan urges, Triggers, Ymir is the only one that knows what's going on, creepy eren, levi isn't a jerk, rogue titan - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-31
Updated: 2018-01-06
Packaged: 2018-10-13 02:51:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 35
Words: 24,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10504896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bunny7799/pseuds/Bunny7799
Summary: Each time Eren Yeager shifts, he distances himself from his humanity. Each time he's in a crowd, he feels the urge to sink his teeth into human flesh. How long can he hold himself off? When will his will break?





	1. Edgier Today?

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first AOT (or SNK) fanfiction. Characters might be a little OOC since this is only my second fanfiction. 
> 
> Kudos are ALWAYS appreciated (I feel so happy everytime someone leaves a kudos or comment! Kudos and comments motivate me to make longer or extra chapters!)
> 
> *UPDATES EVERY SATURDAY!
> 
> I hope you enjoy reading this chapter!

Eren Yeager along with his sister, Mikasa, and his close friend Armin were walking to the refectory.

The sound of boots clattering against the hard floor echoed through the dark halls out with torches. The three were going in slightly late, having been held behind by Hange's titan experiments. Eren hadn't been required to shift, so he hadn't been sent to his quarters right after.

Eren wasn't hungry-at least not for potatoes and soup.

Mikasa opened the wooden double doors to the dining room. The trio was greeted with the chatter of their fellow soldiers. A few stopped to wave before Armin, Eren, and Mikasa got a tray of food and sat down at their usual spot. 

Eren had been uncharacteristically quiet. Mikasa and Armin had thought it was strange-he would avoid crowds, he wouldn't eat, he was creepily silent. They wanted to confront him about it, but they didn't exactly know how they would bring it up. Mikasa watched her brother intently, waiting for him to say  __something- _anything._ Frankly, she was worried. Maybe she was just overthinking things? She hoped she was. She looked out the corner of her eye at Eren-who was pushing around his soup, his face showing he wasn't hungry.

"Eren." Mikasa said suddenly. Eren in response, had jumped in his seat. "Why aren't you eating?" She let out quite bluntly. Then, her tone changed, "Aren't you hungry?" 

"No." 

They spoke quietly for some unspoken reason. Only Armin had heard the two.

Mikasa stared at his face for a long moment. His eyes were sunken, he had chapped lips, pale skin, dull hair.  _Why?_ She wanted to ask,  _Why are you lying to me?_ But she didn't. He would tell her when the time came-they had never kept secrets from each other when they had been younger. Why start now? She would be patient. For him. But she felt... hurt. Did Eren feel he couldn't trust her? Did Eren really think of her like that? 

The chatter had not ceased. 

Mikasa ate silently, not bothering to listen in on conversations going on around her-nor did she partake in one. 

However, she  _had_ noticed when Jean had spilled his bowl of soup on her brother. Mikasa felt a wave of protectiveness. She had never really liked Jean anyway. 

"Oh, sorry-" He apologized, expecting the usual snappy comeback. But was thrown off when it didn't come.

"It's fine." He stood up and made his way to his quarters without another word, leaving a cold bowl of soup. 

Silence fell upon the refectory. Murmurs made their way out of people's mouths. Jean crossed his arms and looked at the door to the refectory-where Eren had passed. 

 _"He's_ certainly edgier today..." He mumbled.

Did honestly  _no one_ sense something was wrong? Mikasa glared daggers at Jean's neck angrily before standing up to follow her adoptive brother, with Armin close behind her.


	2. Trust Me!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He wants to trust them. To say he knows they won't become afraid of him after he spills his secrets. He wants to be able to state confidently that their friendship will stay the same. He wants to know he can trust them all. But he doesn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter 2! It isn't too long because I decided to split this into two chapters. By the way, happy April Fools! 
> 
> *UPDATES EVERY SATURDAY!

He was  _finally_ away from the crowd.

Eren stumbled down the hall. Sweat covered his forehead. 

He wrapped his arms around his starved stomach. 

He ran unsteadily. His hunger was all he could feel at the moment.

The emptiness in his stomach-the ache that never left. The urge for human flesh.  _Cannibalism?_ What was wrong with him? How could he even  _consider_ it? He was revolted by himself. He even thought of his  _sister_  as food! 

He shoved open the bathroom stall door and dry heaved-to his luck, no one had been present to hear him.

 When he left, somehow, he felt hungrier than before. 

Second by second, he was becoming hungrier. 

He had no appetite for human food. It didn't quench his hunger at all, not even a little. So he had stopped eating altogether. Human food tasted even more bland than before. Instead, he craved for human meat-he knew it wasn't right. He was disgusted.  _Titans_ ate humans. It wasn't the other way around, nor was it that  _humans_ ate  _humans._ It was  _wrong._ His little remaining humanity screamed he shouldn't. 

Eren clutched his stomach in a poor attempt to purge his hunger. He stopped and leaned heavily on the stone wall. He stared up at the flickering torch in front of him, the flames danced in his eyes. He let out a quiet sigh. However, the peace didn't last long. He took a look at his surroundings and found himself three meters from the refectory door. 

 _What am I doing here...?_ He thought, panicked. The smell of humans wafted out from under the door.

He couldn't sense neither Mikasa nor Armin. Had they missed each other?

The refectory was  _packed_ with people.

He staggered backwards. The smell was so inviting... He swallowed,

**_Just one won't hurt._  **

One step. Two steps. Three.

_No._

His hands cupped his face.

He couldn't.

What would MIkasa, Armin,  _everyone_ -think of him if he gave into his urges?

He would  _not_ give others a reason to take his life. 

But...

_It would be so easy to just snatch one._

His endless suffering would be over, if he just did that one  _tiny_ thing.

He ran his fingers through his hair. He breathed heavily. 

**_DO IT!_ **

_No no no no no no. I can't!_

Eren, distraught, tripped on his own his own feet. He landed on his hind.

His headache became ten times worse than before. He cradled his head like it would split apart if he didn't. He curled in on himself in a fetal position next to the cold stone wall. He let out a strangled scream when the pains in his head only seemed to get worse. He dug his fingernails into his scalp and buried his head in his knees.

The double doors of the refectory burst open.

He heard a few murmurs and then, he heard the voice of Levi say,

"Restrain him!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh yeah, forgot to mention my draft accidentally got deleted three times (each time when I was three fourths of the way done).


	3. Deathly Pale

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Third chapter! 
> 
> This chapter is just slightly longer than the last (honestly, I thought it would be longer than this). Instead of waiting for next Saturday, I'm posting this chapter almost a week early to make up for the shortness of all my chapters (don't worry, I'll probably still post chapter four on Saturday still). And I'm just making up the story as I go, so... most of the planning is done while I'm in my bed lying awake. 
> 
> Hope you like this chapter!

"Hurry up you dimwits! Stop holding him down and bring him to the infirmary!" Levi barked. Wondering what the idiots had been thinking. The boy looked sickly for god's sake! He honestly looked like a ghost to the Corporal, he wondered what kind of sickness Eren had brought upon himself in such a short time period.

Jean, Ymir, Sasha, Connie and Krista had been holding him down - yes, Levi  _had_ said to restrain him, but only because he had been flailing about. 

"Y - Yes sir!" 

Quickly, they picked Eren up, who squirmed in their grasps, making it a whole lot harder to hold him - even though... he was a lot lighter than he looked. 

"Oy! Eren! Stop moving!" Jean yelled.

The only response Jean received was a pained screech from the pained brunette.

Jean's grip slipped from Eren's arm. Jean cursed and made to grab Eren's arm again before he fell, but before he could do that, Eren pulled his arm to his gaping maw and clamped his teeth down with every intent to break the skin. 

Eren felt the metal tasting blood seep onto his tongue.  _His friend's blood._  The sick taste was more than enough to make him realize his position. He was biting into Jean's arm. Eren scrambled back to the ground, blood smeared on his teeth. 

He had  _not_ just eaten his friend.

He stared in horror at the arm he had just bitten.

"What the fuck?!" Hissed Jean, holding his arm to his chest. 

The taste of blood was still present on his tongue. He spat the piece of flesh out of his mouth, disbelieving of his actions. He wiped his tongue on his sleeve, leaving blood stains on the article of clothing. 

"Eren," Levi interrogated, "What the fuck do you think you're doing?" 

Jean backed away from Eren, worried he would try and bite him again.

Eren didn't say anything, he just kept staring at the blood on his sleeve. He swallowed the wad of blood still left in his mouth. For a mere few seconds, he felt his hunger quell. But then, the aching came back full force.  _He wanted more._ The taste was addicting. His own blood was nothing like it-in fact, he didn't really  _like_ his own blood.

He felt start saliva start to pool in the bottom of his mouth.

_No._ He thought, the blood was  _not_  appetizing. The flesh had  _not_ been tempting. Human meat was certainly _not_ irresistible. 

**_Oh, but it_ is.**

He shook his head, as if to deny everything his inner voice was telling him. The voices of his friends were mere background noises to him. He felt like he had been sent tumbling down a steep hill and had hit his head on the trunk of a tree. He groaned. The ache in his abdomen had not gone away, in fact, it had become even more intense with the presence of  ** _humans_** \- no, his  _friends._  He watched Levi approach, step by step.

"St - Stay away!" He stuttered.

_So the brat's giving me orders now?_ Levi thought with an annoyed expression. Despite his previous thoughts, he stopped his advance.

Eren felt like someone had hit his head with a jack hammer several times. But compared to the pain in his stomach, it was nothing. The gnawing in his stomach was by far the worst. The pain was unbearable, to the point Eren had been tempted to take another bite of human flesh - or put the piece of flesh he had spat out back in his mouth. But he couldn't move. Paralyzed by pain. Unable to keep himself sitting up, he fell backwards, sending a jolt of pain throughout his body.

"Corporal," Ymir said, earning a questioning glance from Levi, "you need to stab him." She said over Eren's constant screams of pain.

Krista gasped,

"Ymir, what are you saying?" The sweet girl asked, dreading the answer - but she was slightly relieved when none came.

"Why would I do that?" Levi asked, somehow keeping calm.

"He fucking  _bit_ me!" Jean interrupted, "Shit! Does he have rabies or something?!"

"He does  _not_ have rabies!" Ymir yelled, the loudest anyone had ever heard her before. "Corporal, please, listen!" She pleaded.

Her demeanor changed, she looked... scared. 

"Please," She asked again, "before it's too late!" 

Her words perplexed everyone. 

Everyone turned their attention to Levi - as he finally came to a decision - to listen to Ymir. His wound would heal later anyway.

The Lance Corporal walked to the distraught titan shifter, who's throat he was sure was sore by now. He resisted the urge to cover both his ears and walked to the screaming teen. He unsheathed his titan slaying blade and lifted the glinting silver metal. He positioned it above Eren's lower leg and the blade plunged down, slicing through the thick air like a spear through water. The blade hit it's target with a revolting crunch as his fibula snapped in half. Blood splattered across the ground like rain drops. Eren's shrieks stopped as he blacked out. 

Levi dislodged the blade and cleaned it with the white cloth he always kept in his pocket. He turned his back and said,

"None of you are to speak about this incident to  _anyone_  but Four Eyes, Eyebrows and me." He paused, then said, "Got it?"

"Yes sir." They all responded.

"Bring him to the infirmary. Your cover story will be that there was an accident while Eren was training." He stated, before walking away, his blade cleaned of blood. 

The five soldiers clambered to the deathly pale boy collapsed on the ground. 

Jean's arm was all but forgotten to the other soldiers in the face their other teammate's condition. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EREN! Friends, Not food.


	4. I Promise, I Won't Break

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A look into Eren's mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter four!
> 
> I hope this chapter isn't too weird. It's basically about Eren's inner landscape. For your information, weather reflects Eren's mood.
> 
> *UPDATES ON SATURDAY!
> 
> Edit: Shit, I completely forgot the chapter title! Don't worry, I got dis.

Eren Yeager. A young boy - not even an adult. Suddenly thrown into a war. It wasn't like that had been the first time he had seen death. But to him, death had a new meaning. Death wasn't just punishment for those who had sinned but had never repented - death was also a thief. He had learned that when he had seen his mother's demise. Afterwards, he had never looked at death the same. Life was precious. His _own,_ not so much. The lives of _others_ however - they kept him going. The lives of others were reminders - to protect. He lived to protect and to be the right hand of humanity. He would never stop - not until all titans were completely eradicated. Revenge kept him going too. His drive to claim victory and to bring death upon titans. 

It was raining - pouring actually. 

He was lying in the middle of a forest, slightly submerged. The water level was high enough to submerge his ears. The forest was one of beauty. One full of Cypress trees, numerous white heather, stinging nettle, rue, jimson weeds, wormwood flowers and wolfsbane. It seemed that  _everything_ was in full bloom somehow. He sat up, dirty water clung to his dripping hair. He swiped his hair back from his forehead. He slowly pushed himself off of the ground.

No pain.

Rain was still pelting down on the forest. It didn't look like the downpour would stop anytime soon. 

_How did I get here?_

He couldn't remember.

But as he took a step forward, he could almost feel the weight of his memories coming back. He had bitten Jean.  _He had tried to eat his fucking friend._ As his mood changed, so did the weather. Thunder was striking the land, setting fire to trees. He gasped, panicked. He sprinted in the opposite direction, rain water soaking his clothes. Thankfully, the fire wasn't spreading very quickly due to the rain. He slowed down a little after realizing the fire was not  _that_ dangerous.

He realized his current predicament.

He didn't know where he was.

He looked around frantically, finding only plants - and... a titan? 

Indeed, he had spotted a titan - 15 meters.

 _How did I not notice him before!?_ He thought, feeling quite stupid.

He grasped at his sides, in search of his 3DMG. His fingers were met with only the frigid air and rain drops.

He didn't have his titan killing gear with him.

_Shit!_

How would he kill the titan?

The earth shaking footsteps of the giant behemoth grew louder with each meter it got closer. 

"Wh..." 

Was this even real?

Towering over Eren, was  _himself._ The titan slaying 15 meter giant. He looked at himself. He had never known he had looked so...terrifying. He felt almost threatened. 

_Yeah, no. This is so totally a dream._

He chuckled - he hadn't known his mind could conjure such weird dreams. The sky, however, was still rumbling. The rain had not ceased. The shadow of the behemoth still enveloped him. 

 ** _"Is it? I kinda doubt that y'know."_** It said, it's emerald eyes, contaminated with hunger.

 _What the fuck? It can talk?_ Eren thought.

**_"You know I can hear you, right?"_ **

Eren's head snapped up.

 ** _"Hehe, yeah."_** It's laugh was sinister. It didn't sound right. Somehow, it sounded like Eren.

"What is this? Who are you?" Eren queried. His voice sounded small, even to him.

 ** _"I'm the Rogue Titan."_** It said, it's almost gleeful tone, gone. Now replaced by a voice of cynicism and cold.

It crouched down and huffed out a breath that smelled of rot and iron - blood. Eren crinkled his nose at the scent. 

_How does this even make sense?_

Then, everything started to connect. That voice... it was the one that had been urging him to eat.

 ** _"You've finally figured it out, huh."_** It's voice rumbled deeply.

"Why are you here?" Eren shouted at it.

 ** _"Because of your father."_** At this, Eren became baffled, what else did his father have to do with anything?

 ** _"You don't remember?"_** It looked deep into Eren's emerald eyes.  ** _"He injected you with a serum and you became a titan."_**

_Why don't I remember?_

**_"You ate him."_ **

"No! You're lying! I... I'd never do that!" He screamed.

**_"But you did."_ **

Eren was riddled with guilt.

 ** _"In time, you're going to lose control."_** A smile stretched across it's lipless face.  ** _"When you give into your hunger, when your will finally breaks - what do you think will become of your family? Friends?"_**

"I promise, I won't break." Said Eren. He was sure of that. After all, he  _was_ the most hardheaded person he knew.

**_"Let's see about that."_ **

It stood up from it's crouching position, it's eerie grin still plastered on it's face. It exhaled a great cloud of smoke.

**_"Time for you to go."_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you like this chapter? I hope so!
> 
> I actually did some research for the plants in Eren's inner world! Each plant symbolizes something (I don't even know why I did this research).
> 
> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Plant_symbolism


	5. It's Already Red Anyways

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What is the extent of Ymir's knowledge? Just how much is she keeping from her friends?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter five!
> 
> My brain is fried. I forgot to save my draft and I had to rewrite half of it. :( Kids, this is what cream puff making does to you.
> 
> Also, early chapter! Whoop! Chapter six will still be posted on Saturday. Kudos and comments are always appreciated!
> 
> Anyways, I just realized ATTACK ON TITAN SEASON TWO IS OUT. YESS.
> 
> *UPDATES ARE EVERY SATURDAY!

The five 104th regiment soldiers walked with Eren in tow. The torches lit their way to the infirmary - they were halfway there. 

 _He's so light._ Sasha thought to herself. For his age, he was  _very_ light - the fact he was a soldier with at least a medium build didn't help.

"Hey guys," Sasha started, "could we stop for a moment?"

And they did. Gently, the soldiers - minus Jean, who was holding his bitten arm - set him down on the stone floor.

"What is it?" Jean snapped. He wanted to hurry up and get to his quarters to patch up his arm. He wasn't enough of a jerk to leave his friends alone though.

"He's really... light." Sasha said, a frown on her face. "I think it would be faster if I carried him alone."

"Hey! You're right!" Connie said, now just realizing, "I bet I could carry him alone too!"

Ymir wordlessly knelt down beside Eren. Her allies looking at her strangely. She lifted his shirt up halfway, not caring much if her team somehow interpreted her actions the wrong way. And they didn't. Eren's stomach was sunken, his ribs were poking at his olive skin. 

 _Is he trying to starve himself to death?_ Thought Jean.

Ymir covered his abdomen again. 

"Let's keep moving." Her face still stoic. It didn't seem she had any intent to say anything else.

Sasha hurriedly put him on her back as gently as she could. _No wonder he isn't as heavy as he should be_ _,_ she thought. 

The stab wound on Eren's leg wasn't healing as fast as it should have been. There was the silent sound of dripping blood - masked by the resounding sound of boots. No one had noticed the wound yet.

Suddenly, there were two other pairs of feet running down the hall. The sound was coming from behind Sasha. The shadow of Mikasa was cast upon the stone walls, along with Armin - who looked rather tired of running. Mikasa gasped at the sight of her younger brother.

"Eren." She whispered into her red scarf. She dashed to her brother and carried him away from Sasha, who made no efforts to stop her. Mikasa gently put her brother on the floor.

Mikasa stared at the stab wound on his leg - which was still open. No one had thought to wrap it up - they had all expected it to just... heal.

"Who?" Mikasa demanded, "Who did this?" She stared at Connie for an answer.

"H - He had an accident w - while training!" He spluttered out the fake story Levi had made.

Mikasa said nothing else - she seemed to accept the answer. She gingerly unwrapped her precious scarf from her shoulders and tied it around Eren's stab wound - the scarf was already red anyways. Then, slowly, she picked him up and slung him on her back in the same position Sasha had done. Without a word, she began sprinting to the infirmary - with Armin struggling to run beside her and not five meters behind her.

"Mikasa, w - wait up!"

When Mikasa and Armin were out of sight, Connie let out a sigh. 

"Wow." He exhaled. "I guess this means we can all just go back to our beds?"

* * *

 Mikasa pumped her legs as fast as she could to the infirmary. Eren's legs dangled beside her. Mikasa knew that Eren wasn't as careless as his friends usually portrayed him. She knew that he wasn't enough of an idiot to accidentally stab himself with his own blade like how many other trainees did. Perhaps it was his sudden frailness. Mikasa _knew_ that something was being kept from her - that Connie had been untruthful. But it wasn't her business - if they didn't want her know, she wouldn't ask to know.

The door to the infirmary came into sight.

She thought she could hear Armin saying,

"Finally...here..."

But she didn't care enough to look behind her at him.

Mikasa kicked the door open without so much as a knock or moment of hesitation. On the other side, were Shorty and the Insane Scientist.

Mikasa merely gave a quick bow to them due to her not being able to use her hands. She briskly walked to one of the hospital beds and set him down gently. Levi groaned - they'd have to replace the broken door. But he set aside that responsibility for later. He had just told Hange about the situation and he sincerely hoped she wouldn't screw up her acting with her insufferable excitement. 

"EREN!" Hange screamed - like the over dramatic person she was. At least she didn't seem any different. She gasped, "I need to take a sample of his blood before it clots!"

Or maybe, she wasn'tacting at _all._

Her hand plunged into all the different pockets she had - she  _always_ had a test tube or three on hand. Mikasa let her take a little blood before immediately wrapping up Eren's leg with gauze. 

"Why isn't it healing?" Levi asked her.

"I don't know." She said, her voice was almost shaky.

She plopped down on a nearby chair - but not before grabbing her blood stained scarf - which didn't actually look much different. 

Then, like a book to the face, she remembered the door she had broken down.

"Uh... Mikasa? Did you do this?" Asked Armin, wearily stepping over the door. When she looked to her for confirmation, he found she wasn't denying it.

Mikasa carefully wrapped the over sized battered and bloodied red scarf back around her neck and shoulders. Levi cringed a little - he wondered for a moment how long she had had that scarf for. The older sister then stood up from her seat beside Eren's bedside to the door that had been knocked right off it's hinges. Ignoring the happy squeals coming from Hange, she picked the door up easily and shoved it back into it's door frame. 

 _Guess that'll have to do for now._ Thought Levi.

Armin slowly made his way to a chair and set it down across from Mikasa's chosen chair.

"Armin." Levi spoke from across the room. "Have you seen Ymir?" He wanted to ask her why the fuck he had stabbed Eren's leg. He also wanted to know what "before it's too late!" meant.

"Oh," Armin thought for a second, "we saw her earlier with Eren before Mikasa decided to carry him instead."

"I see." Levi said. He was a man of few words.

After Mikasa had "fixed" the door she had broken down, she went to sit beside Eren again. Hange had sprinted to her study right after saying,

"I need to study this sample while it's still fresh!"

Levi went to get as much sleep as he possibly could - despite knowing he probably wouldn't, being an insomniac and all.

Mikasa stayed with Eren, so did Armin - he couldn't just leave. He didn't want to be incompetent in being a friend as well.

And so they stayed up as long as they could, waiting for Eren to come to. 

They ended up asleep on either sides of Eren's small hospital bed in the middle of the cold night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just realized that the two stories I'm currently writing actually kinda relate (the female protagonist is bringing the male protagonist to the infirmary), funny. No wonder it feels like I've written the word "infirmary" a dozen times.


	6. That's It's Name

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren's wound isn't healing and no one knows how to help him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter six!
> 
> I don't know why, but I keep forgetting Armin exists. Right now, he's pretty much following Mikasa around like a lost puppy.
> 
> *NEW CHAPTERS ARE POSTED EVERY SATURDAY (unless I finish a chapter early).

_**"Time for you to go."** _

The 15 meter behemoth raised it's leg and dropped it down on Eren. He watched as the muddy foot descended upon him, casting a large shadow on him. He could barely hear himself scream over the current of wind the large foot created and the thundering clouds above. The foot crushed his bones and all that was left of him - was a mushy pile of blood, internal organs and bones. 

It had been over in an instant.

* * *

Eren sat up with sweat beading on his forehead. He tried to take slower breaths. Gradually he calmed. He was level minded enough to notice the pain in his stomach had lessened quite dramatically - and that his adopted sister and best friend were sleeping by him. Her head rested on his heater of a hand, while Armin laid slumped in his uncomfortable chair.

_How long...?_

He looked to the window on the wall, the sun was dawning in the horizon and the morning breeze filtered into the room from the open window. The curtains fluttered with the slight disturbance the wind made. The red scarf on Mikasa was starting to slip off.

 _I need to get her a new one._ Thought Eren, looking at the rips Mikasa had mended, at the slightly frayed edges that had formed as the years had gone by. The scarf had been through many many battles - it was no wonder it was so battered up. Eren wondered how in the world that scarf had survived in battle.

Heck, it had even survived longer than Marco, Squad Levi, Mina, and Thomas!

Eren sighed and rested his head back on his white pillow - that smelled like the cleaning products Levi forced everyone to use.

Suddenly, Eren was interrupted by none other than the Corporal himself - holding the infirmary's door by its handle.

"Fuck." He whispered, "Why do I keep forgetting?"

He quickly shoved the door back into place and when he turned back to Eren, he found he was awake.

He seemed pissed.

 _Maybe... I should have pretended to keep sleeping._ Was the fleeing thought Eren had before Levi started to walk to him.

 _That's_ when Eren had noticed the breakfast tray in the Corporal's hands.

"Arlert, Ackerman, you're late for the morning shift!" He reprimanded.

Eren quickly pretended to be asleep.

They didn't notice his act and left the room with,

"Yes sir."

As they exited through the broken door, Levi sat down on the chair Armin had been in. 

He dropped the food tray in Eren's blanket covered lap.

"Eat." Ordered the Corporal. 

He was well aware Eren had not been eating properly - or rather, not eating at all, through a report from someone anonymous. He didn't know who - but that was besides the point. He had to see if the statement had been true.

"I'm not feeling hungry, I think you should give this to Sasha instead, she'd really appreciate it."

"You've been asleep for a day and a half." Stated Levi with a stoic expression.

Eren's eyes widened a fraction,  _That long? Who did my share of the work?_

As if he had heard his thoughts, he answered,

"Ackerman and Arlert are doing your shit at the moment."

Eren tried to get out of bed, but winced when he realized an injury on his leg.  _How did I get that?_ Oh right.  ~~He had bitten off a piece of Jean's arm~~  He guessed Levi had stabbed him. He had faint memories of it.

"Tell me why your injury isn't healing." Levi straightforwardly asked.

"I don't know."

"You have absolutely no clue?" Levi asked disbelievingly. Cynicism written on his face.

Eren grew quiet.

"You won't believe me." He finally said.

"Try me." 

"I'm gonna guess I got knocked out?" Levi nodded in confirmation. "Well... I'm not sure how to explain this, but... I think I had a vision."

"Of what?" Queried Levi.

"The Rogue Titan - that's it's name."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments are always appreciated!


	7. Anonymous

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ymir writes a letter - one of caution, and it's addressed to Corporal Levi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter eight!
> 
> For your information, this chapter takes place BEFORE Eren wakes up in a hospital bed.
> 
> Also, I kinda just avoided writing the chapter that would be difficult to write. Hehe... my brain is fried.
> 
> *UPDATES ARE EVERY SATURDAY.

Ymir quietly sat in a chair.

She had been writing a letter - a report actually - for Corporal Levi.

She stared into the light of the candle in front of her, then lowered her writing utensil down to her paper again.

On the paper, she had written,

* * *

 

_To: Corporal Levi_

_This is a warning that must be taken seriously._

_The titan shifter in the infirmary isn't stable and must be kept under surveillance especially at nighttime. He also has not been eating for reasons. He himself may not be aware of the threat he is or what is happening, but he has no bad intentions. It is best if he doesn't go to the refectory anymore. No more than fifteen people should be around him at all times. Do NOT for any reason order him to shift into a titan._

_If you think this letter is bullshit, offer him food. I guarantee you, he will reject it._

_You have been warned. Decide to discard this warning, and you will regret it._

_Sincerely,_

_Anonymous_

* * *

 

Her cautionary words had taken less than half of her paper, but that was fine. Ymir preferred short and sweet letters anyway. She creased the paper in half and put it into an envelope. She sighed and stood up with her letter in hand. Ymir snatched her green cloak off her chair and put it on, pulling the hood of her cloak over her head. She would not risk getting identified. Even if she would look shady, walking across the hall with her hood on - she could not risk being identified. As she opened the door, she made sure not to disturb the women in the room, sleeping soundly. Mikasa however, had been awake. Ymir had not noticed her open eyes and continued walking down the hall. The freckled woman made her footsteps as light as possible but couldn't help but make a little noise. No one was in the hall but her, perhaps she had been paranoid?

Her hearing told her no one was close by.

She loosened up a little and continued walking, getting a feeling that taking her hood off would not be the best choice she had made in life. As she neared The Lance Corporal's door, she could hear the sound of lead on paper.

The Corporal was not asleep.

She made a split second decision and bent down to place the envelope in front of the door.

But she should have known, it would not be that easy.

She flinched when the door opened and the envelope she had propped up on it slapped the floor.

"What the hell." She heard Levi say. "What fucking time is it, anyway?"

Ymir cleared her throat and changed her voice a little.

"1 AM, sir." She said in her awkwardly high voice.

"And what are  _you_ doing up this early?" He asked, looking at the Wings of Freedom emblem on the back of the cloak.

Ymir was silent for just a moment. Then, there was the sound of air rushing past her ears as she bent upright, at the same time, hitting the Corporal's chin.

"Sorry." She squeaked, unapologetic. 

She swiveled around on her heel and sprinted down the hall, making sure to leave the envelope with Levi.

When she knew she was at a decent distance away, she checked to see if he had decided to chase her down. There were no sound of boots hitting the floor. She sighed and took a rest on the stone wall. 

She snorted and snicked ungracefully.

 _I sounded like a overgrown mouse._ She thought.

She wondered how many curses Levi had spewed by now. 

 _His chin feels like a fucking rock._ Ymir nonchalantly rubbed the back of her head.

 _Shit. I hit the Corporal._ Reality dawned upon her. 

She slapped her forehead.

If she got found out, she was sure she would be put on horse stall clean up. And she did  _not_ want that.

She shook her head, for what was done, was done.

She proceeded back to her dormitory at a fast pace.


	8. Just Checking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A certain man comes unannounced.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter eight!
> 
> Sorry for the length of this chapter, I'm not even sure how I managed to get this all done in a day. Hope you all like this chapter :).
> 
> *UPDATES ARE EVERY SATURDAY!

"The Rogue Titan - that's it's name." Said Eren.

Levi urged him to continue. The tray of food in his lap having been forgotten.

"It said -" Eren was disrupted by the entering of Armin.

"Cor -" Armin stopped. "Eren?"

"He just woke up." Said Levi.

Armin broke out of his stupor and seemed flustered for a moment.

"I was informed you were here, sir." Armin said in the strongest voice he could muster.

"What is it?" 

"Commander Nile Dok has come to visit." He said.

Levi immediately stood up from his chair. He shot a look at Eren that said, "Act normally."

"Right." Said Levi to Armin.

It seemed to Eren that the Commander of the Royal Police had come uninvited - not that the man really  _needed_ an invitation.

Armin stepped out of the door way and stood as tall and proud as he could. Seconds later, Mikasa, along with Nile entered - with the usual look of irritation that always seemed to be present on his face. He gave a moment of attention to the fallen door, but alas, left it alone. But the titan shifter in the infirmary bed was a different case. Mikasa seemed overjoyed at the sight of her brother's open eyes.

"Just  _what_ is it doing here without  _chains?"_ Had been the first thing to come out of Nile's mouth.

Mikasa glared at the Commander but made no moves - which Levi was grateful for, while Armin twitched nervously beside Mikasa.

"As you can see, this is the infirmary, and we don't have chains installed here, which is why  _I'm_ here." Levi lied.

Nile eyed the brunette suspiciously, but nodded in understanding.

"What is your business here?" Asked Levi coldly.

"Just checking."

"Well, now that you're done checking, I suppose your visit is over?" 

"Not quite."

What else did he want to look into?

"I just wanted to observe these... experiments Hanji Zoe conducts." Nile looked at Eren, "I heard that you had one scheduled for today."

"Yes sir." Eren felt a foreboding feeling creep into the room.

"I'm looking forward to it."

With that, the Commander exited the room with Mikasa - who to her luck, had been chosen to be his escort. Mikasa scowled at the back of the Commander she now detested even more.

 _Now what?_ Levi thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you liked this chapter, leave a kudos or comment!


	9. Friend or Foe?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi slips away from the infirmary to question Ymir while Hange rants about titans to Nile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter nine!
> 
> Sorry this chapter was so short, I had a busy schedule today. One of my family members had a driver's knowledge test (and it happened to be Saturday today, which is one of the most busy days). I haven't been able to relax for a week!  
> Hopefully this chapter isn't sloppy. 
> 
> *UPDATES ARE EVERY SATURDAY!

Levi watched carefully as the Commander of the Royal Police exited the room. As soon as he was sure the Commander was gone and out of hearing range, he said to Eren,

"I'll be leaving for a while, don't go anywhere." 

"But didn't you say you were here to keep watch on me?" Eren asked.

Levi only sent him a glare.

"Arlert, you will stay here while I'm gone." Armin jumped a little at his name, but nodded as Levi left the room.

Levi walked briskly down the hall to where he knew Ymir would be - the horse stalls.

When he entered the stables, he was glad to find that the stables weren't stinking.

He heard Jean say,

"Why do  _I_ have to be doing this?" He grumbled. 

"Well, at least you aren't cleaning up horse shit." Connie said scornfully with a scrunched nose. Connie had been caught with Sasha stealing food and had decided to take the brunt of the punishment.

"Corporal!" Krista said as she noticed the man standing at the door way.

Ymir looked up only to see Levi - she had known this would have happened sooner or later, but she couldn't help but feel a little jittery.

"Ymir, come with me." Levi turned around and walked away, expecting the tan woman to follow him.

Ymir walked behind him. She had planned what to do if by chance, this certain situation had arisen. Ymir tried to keep her wavering confidence up.

When the two arrived at a secluded area, they stopped walking. Levi turned around to look at Ymir.

"Explain." He ordered.

"Explain what Corporal?" Ymir said innocently.

"Cut the bullshit." Levi said, irritated.

Ymir sighed.

"Promise to  _not_ put me on horse shit duty?" Ymir  _really_ hated it.

"Only if you talk." Levi said.

Ymir breathed in, then out.  _Relax, he won't do anything stupid with this information,_ she thought to herself.

"I'm a titan shifter." She blurted out.

Levi looked like he hadn't caught that and just when Ymir was about to repeat her words, Levi said,

 _"Who's side are you on?"_ Levi looked directly at her face, daring her to say the truth. His hands inched closer to the blades by his side and his fingers brushed the tip of the handles.

"Neither," but in truth, she was on whichever side Krista was on. However, she doubted that telling the Corporal that would be a good choice.

 _Neutral, huh?_ Levi thought,  _but that's a lie._

"Well, at least you aren't our enemy." Levi's posture relaxed slightly, but his hands were only a few inches away from his weapons. It would take only a split second for his blades to be at Ymir's throat. "Now, what's going on with Yeager?"

"He's..." Ymir faltered.  _Don't stop now! You've already told him what you really are!_ "It's his titan."


	10. He Doesn't Know What He's In For

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren doesn't understand what's going on,

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter ten!
> 
> Finally at the ten chapters mark! :D.
> 
> I've been working on a (very) long one shot for this fandom for a while now, it will most likely be posted before next Saturday. It's set in the modern day. If you're interested in reading it, it's called "Mikasa's New Scarf". You can probably guess what it's going to be about.
> 
> *UPDATES ARE EVERY SATURDAY!

Eren looked out the high rise building's window in disinterest. He sighed. 

"Hey Armin?" He tried to start a conversation.

"Yeah?" Armin looked up from his lap.

"What's been going on?" Eren asked.

"Oh, nothing much." He answered.

And that was all he said.

 _Man, is it hard to start a normal conversation with Armin,_ thought Eren.

"Say, have you eaten breakfast yet?" Eren asked.

"Not yet."

"Then here, have this." Eren lifted the breakfast tray from his lap and shoved it towards Armin.

"You haven't eaten yet, either." Armin pushed the tray back to Eren gently.

"I've also been sleeping for what, two days?" Eren said.

"Actually, a day and a half." Armin corrected, Eren ignored him.

"You eat."

Eren dropped the tray on Armin's lap.

They continued like this until Armin finally decided,

"I'll go to the refectory so we can  _both_ eat."

Armin left the room, thinking nothing of leaving Eren out of sight.

Eren sat alone in the infirmary room, the warm light of the sun on his face.

He sighed.

_**Poor Armin, he doesn't know what he's in for.** _

The voice came back. Eren's breath turned ragged.

 _Why won't you just go away?_ He thought angrily.

**_As long as you're here, I'm here._ **

"I don't understand." he whispered.

It didn't say anything back, the thumping in his head ceased, and the weight of his heart lightened a little. Eren breathed out and concentrated on the sunlight and the light breeze that filtered into the room through the window. He shifted his broken leg that still had not healed fully - though his healing time was still much faster than an average human's.

Eren was brought out of his thoughts when Armin entered through the broken door.

Armin was smiling a little, with a tray of food in his hands.

"I managed to get some food." He said.

He sat down in his chair by Eren and started eating his late breakfast.

Eren gulped. He  _really_ didn't want to eat the food. The smell revolted him beyond belief - though it was only soup and a piece of bread.

 _Armin took the time to go to the refectory and back._ He reminded himself as he picked up his piece of bread. To him, it smelled stale - to him, it might as well have been a piece of dried out moss.

He slowly brought it up to his mouth and took a small bite. He wanted to spit it out right away - it was unpleasantly sour and the after taste was bitter. Eren nearly gagged, but still, he chewed and swallowed it.

The two sat there, not talking about much.


	11. Better Stupid Than Dead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren knows now, how to kill the Rogue in his head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter eleven!
> 
> This chapter might trigger some people, so don't read this if suicide triggers you.
> 
> *UPDATES ARE EVERY SATURDAY!

It had been an hour since Eren had eaten his horrid breakfast.

50 minutes since he had went to the bathroom to get rid of the human food in his stomach.

45 minutes since Armin had decided to leave Eren to do his work.

An hour and a half until his scheduled appointment with Hange.

Eren felt a the feeling of foreboding creep up his spine.

 _Everything will go fine... just like it usually does._ He kept repeating that same phrase to himself over and over again, but it had not helped with his case of the shivers.

His broken leg was not broken any longer - his bone had healed already and the spot where he had been stabbed was a bright red colour. Eren rubbed the red newly grown skin on his leg. The gash of bright red flesh made a line across his leg. 

If he had wanted to, he could have gotten out of bed and stood up. But he had not.

_I've done this several times before. I can do it again._

**_What makes you so sure?_ **

Eren's thoughts stopped running for a moment.

**_Are you certain you could become a titan and have no problems?_ **

_...Yes._

The strange voice did not answer back.

This left Eren's thoughts in scrambles once again.

_What does it mean?_

_Why would I have problems shifting into a titan?_

_Surely, it doesn't control my shifting powers..._

The voice in his head was eating away at his confidence.

The second conscience in his mind didn't need to take any action - just a little push was all that was needed. And so the behemoth living in his head waited for his time to come - for the time Eren's will would crumble.

 

* * *

 

It was fifty minutes until his meeting with Hange and Nile Dok.

Eren thought about what the Rogue titan in his mind had said.

_As long as you're here, I'm here._

What did that mean?

 _As long as I'm alive,_ it  _will be alive..._

Eren's eyes widened.

Wind ruffled the curtains, blowing a gentle breeze.

_And if I die..._

Eren looked at the direction the wind had come from - the window.

_No._

_No no no no. I can't._

He forced his gaze back to his blanket covered lap.

But after nearly twenty minutes of waiting with nothing else to think of, he wasn't sure he could sit still anymore.

_No, I have to do this._

He swallowed a wad of anxiety, as he walked slowly to the window. His legs shook underneath him, as if they were begging for him not to break them again. He stuck his head out the window and looked down.

It was a  _long_ drop.

At the bottom, he could see the gravel and the grass. The barn house. Nearly everything was in his plane of sight.

He assured himself again.

_This is the right thing to do._

As he climbed to sit on the ledge of the window.

_No one's getting killed by me tonight._

He looked down to the spot he'd die, swinging his feet to get at least a little accustomed.

_Everyone is safer this way._

**_You're right._** The voice in his head interrupted.

_It's better than everyone dying because of me!_

**_Oh, what did you say? "People who don't mind living like livestock are the stupid ones, if you ask me!"_ **

"Better stupid than dead." He muttered under his breath.

He stood up on the narrow ledge of the infirmary window, taking a last look at everything. His hands gripped the wall tightly. He didn't want to die yet. But he was afraid - of the consequences of staying alive. Eren turned his body to face the outside - to make sure his nape would not survive. He shuffled closer to his death, willing himself -

_Take the fall!_

And without a second thought, he let go. His feet teetered dangerously close to the edge.

"Eren?"

The emerald eyed brunette closed his eyes and let his feet slip.

"EREN!" 

The young titan shifter felt his body tilt backward, his arms free, the ledge under his shoes disappearing.

At that moment, he felt like he was soaring through the air - like how he felt when he used his 3DMG - except, he was falling down.

Down. Down. Down.

The wind rushed past his ear and he could hear a high pitched scream.

"EREN!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun, dun, DUN!


	12. Fight and Live

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mikasa makes a last ditch effort to convince Eren to save himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter twelve!
> 
> Thank you all for over 50 kudos! :D :D :D :D :D. I'll just mention that whenever someone leaves a kudos, I grin like a cheshire cat and my mom wonders why the heck I look so happy. To celebrate, here's a chapter with a cliffhanger. Just saying, this chapter practically wrote itself.
> 
> *UPDATES ARE EVERY SATURDAY!

Mikasa had just walked into the infirmary to check on Eren.

That was all she had been intending to do.

Not seeing her little brother falling off the ledge of a window.

"EREN!" She screamed.

What was he doing?

What was he  _thinking!?_

Mikasa sprinted forwards, her arm out, hoping that she would miraculously be able to catch him by the ankle - but her hand grasped only thin air. 

The raven haired girl watched in horror as Eren neared the ground - closer and closer.

She practically sprung out the window.

She shot out a metal cable and managed to catch him by the boot. Her other metal cable was anchored into the wall beside the window. She breathed a sigh of relief and relaxed, until her heart seemed to stop.

Eren's boot was slipping off.

The brunette opened his eyes.

"Mikasa?" He whispered, and she almost didn't hear him.

"Eren, don't move!" She spoke as she watched the boot slowly sliding off his foot.

"Mikasa." The girl stopped her frantic thoughts to listen to her brother, "Let go."

The distance from Eren to the ground was still enough to kill him.

"No! What are you saying?" Mikasa stayed as still as she possibly could. 

She felt the tears coming forth, threatening to spill at the thought of losing the last of her family.

"This is the only way." He said.

Mikasa looked at him with a panicked gaze. Her eyes flickered from his face to his boot.

"Tell the others -"

"Tell them yourself!" Mikasa interrupted. 

She didn't know what she was doing.

"IF YOU DON'T FIGHT, YOU CAN'T WIN!" She screamed his very own words at him.

Seconds passed, and to Eren, the day seemed normal and beautiful for one moment.

He remembered the moment he himself had said that very same phrase.

The same phrase that had sparked Mikasa's will to live once again. To win and live.

 _IF YOU WIN, YOU LIVE! IF YOU LOSE, YOU DIE! IF YOU DON'T FIGHT, YOU CAN'T WIN!_ He remembered saying those words.

 _Is there really another way...?_ He wondered.

"SO FIGHT! FIGHT AND LIVE!" Mikasa screamed, as Eren's boot finally slipped off his foot, Mikasa's heart dropped along with his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHY DO I LOVE CLIFFHANGERS SO MUCH!?


	13. This is For Them

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren is dead set on killing himself - but will he be allowed to?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter thirteen!
> 
> Thanks for reading, hope you enjoy!
> 
> *UPDATES ARE EVERY SATURDAY!

As Eren fell, he felt the wind roaring in his ears. The wind ruffled his brown jacket and hair. His eyes stayed open, staring at the window where Mikasa was. He averted his gaze to the sky covered in a blanket of white clouds. He thought he could see tears leaking out of Mikasa's eyes, and the distant "thump"s of the hooves of horses over the wind whistling past his ears. He heard sobs from above.

 _Don't cry._ He wanted to say. But he found that his voice was stuck in his throat. He closed his glistening green eyes.

His heart plummeted further and further.

He felt like an fool. Leaving behind his sister. His friends.

All because of the stupid voice in his head.

Her sobs seemed to scream to him,  _Don't leave me._

 _Stop being an idiot. This is the only way,_ he thought.

He readied himself for when he would hit the ground. The feeling of tingling grass on his nape, the abrupt impact of his fall, his abnormally warm blood seeping into the roots of the grass bellow him.

_This is how I'm going to die, huh?_

He could feel the stinging of tears on his eyes.

 _This is for them._ He reminded himself.

"This is the only way." He whispered. "This is only way I can think of to protect you." His emerald eyes opened again, his tears falling. "I'm sorry."

He knew she couldn't hear him. And yet he apologized, because of the guilt of not having been able to deal with the monstrosity living in his head alone. 

 _This is it,_ he thought, resigned.

But when he was just three meters from the ground, he felt his hand jerk to his mouth. His teeth separated.

_What am I doing?_

His jaw clamped down on his hand. A tinge of pain, then a drop of blood fell to the ground. A spear of lightning lit up the pale sky and his body burst into a ball of light. He felt tendons start to wrap around his human body. Several attached to his face and his legs and hands became bound.

 _No!_ He thought.

He didn't want to transform.

_GET ME OUT!_

He struggled in the bundle of tendons he was in. Each and every string of muscle was attached to him firmly. But still, he fought against the bounds, pulling profusely. The strings on his hands and arms snapped.

_Come on!_

He started to claw at the tendons still stuck to him. Inevitably clawing at his own skin - but he didn't notice, as he got the last of the tendons off his face. His skin was bleeding and a raw red, his hands and fingers ripping apart. He stuck his arm out of the still building skin of his nape and stopped the transformation early - but not early enough. He clawed a hole as an exit and stuck his head out, only to see someone other than Mikasa had witnessed the ordeal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you really think I would kill Eren off and write about his grieving siblings?


	14. Titan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren finds he's in a pinch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter fourteen!
> 
> Guess who saw Eren transform into a titan unauthorized? 
> 
> *UPDATES ARE EVERY SATURDAY!

A herd of horse riding men rode through the grassy clearing. A blond man in the front, leading them all, for he knew their surroundings best. They advanced steadily, but cautiously. Watching for wispy trails of steam as the Commander of the Survey Corps led the others along to their base. To the right of the blond man, was the Commander of the Royal Police, to his left, was the drunk man known as the Commander of the Garrison. Apparently, Dot Pixis had wanted to come along - "A reunion with all the Commanders!" - in his words. Erwin didn't mind - however, he  _did_ mind the cowardly Commander of the Royal Police - Nile Dok. Erwin thought of Dot as another ally - Nile was not exactly his enemy, however the man never seemed to want to take risks - which were  _absolutely necessary_ for humanity to win against the titans. It almost annoyed Erwin - how adamant he was, about having his way. 

As the group neared the old castle, Erwin could have sworn he had heard a scream. His thick eyebrows furrowed.

 _A titan probably wandered in - Levi must have killed it before Hange could try to capture it,_ he thought dismissively. 

But as the castle was almost in view, Erwin started to doubt himself.

_Would a titan really go wandering this early in the morning?_

Erwin started to remember the titan experiments Hange used to have, with the titans called...

What had their names been?

_Ah yes, Sonny and Been._

Hange had done a test to see how long they could stay awake in a dark space - Erwin however, couldn't seem to bring up the results of the exact time the titans had woken up again.

He could sense something was amiss.

But Erwin, being a Commander, very rarely followed his gut feelings.

The horses continued on.

Then, there was a brilliant flash of thunder - one that had not gone unnoticed by the recruits of the Survey Corps and Commanders. 

"What the hell was that!?" Nile Dok yelled over the ferocious roar that followed after.

Erwin didn't answer.

His body became tense and rigid. 

Had Eren transformed  _unauthorized?_

Eren's timing was incredibly bad - if the other Commanders had not been with him, he could have just acted like it had never happened - cover it up. Clearly, that was  _not_ an option.

_This is bad._

As the top of the castle came into view, so did the undeniable mist - the infirmary, the twinkling eyes of Mikasa Ackerman, hanging dangerously - and a deformed titan.

They gaped in shock.

Mikasa caught sight of the Commanders and immediately, her smile disappeared, turning into a frown.

She gripped her blades, but made no other moves.

Erwin noticed that Mikasa's maneuvering hook was stuck on a boot.

Erwin looked to the deformed titan, surprised to see fingers tearing apart the titan's nape from  _inside._

Eren's body climbed out, when he spotted the Commanders, his relief turned to shock.

"STATE YOUR INTENTIONS TITAN!" Yelled Nile.


	15. Tired, Tired, Tired

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He didn't think he would be THAT tired.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter fifteen!
> 
> Sorry about not posting last Saturday! I had a group school project and my teammates failed me, so I had to work on it during the weekend. Again, I apologize.
> 
> Anyways, I hope you all like this chapter :)
> 
> *UPDATES ARE EVERY SATURDAY! (Unless I get held up by something).

As soon as Levi and Ymir had heard a blast of light, they had come running. Their conversation having been cut short - but Levi knew what Ymir meant by something was up with his titan.

The Corporal knew that the brunette would never do something as reckless as falling from a high rise building - let alone transforming into a titan.

And yet, there he was. A figure trapping himself in a bundle of hot flesh. The two barely noticed Mikasa.

Levi stood there rather stunned and Ymir had a look of foreboding on her features. A delayed blast of wind rushed at them. Out of the corner of his eye, Levi saw the three Commanders approaching.

_That brat has terrible timing._

They watched as Eren clawed his way out of the deformed titan. 

"STATE YOUR INTENTIONS TITAN!" Yelled Nile.

Eren's arms trembled, his adrenaline disappearing. His energy, drained with his unintentional transformation.

"I..."

The emerald eyed brunette felt the puffs of steam still pushing up at him - he could also feel the alarmed stares of everyone bellow him. As he moved, everyone flinched, thinking he was about to pull of yet another stunt.

As soon as he was free, his knees gave out and he was rolling down the back of his deformed titan.

_Didn't think I was that..._

He rolled and rolled - until Corporal Levi caught him and dropped his collapsed form on the grass.

 _Tired..._ Wisps of blood evaporated into steam.  _What happened?_ He wanted to say, but he was too exhausted to try and say anything.

"Arrest him!" Commanded Nile.

He heard the sharp zip of wires and the unsheathing of blades.

"STAY BACK!" Mikasa yelled threateningly, swords in hand.

"Ackerman, calm the fuck down." Levi said to her. "You aren't helping the situation here." 

The raven haired woman gripped her blades tight - then let them back into their sheaths. 

The air was heavy with tension.

Eren couldn't move.  _Tired, tired, tired._ He was still missing one boot, he realized. His cheek was pressed into the dewy grass, his ears listening to the soft clatter of boots.

He was so  _tired_. He couldn't keep his eyes open - let alone fight back, as the soldiers dragged him, half asleep.


	16. Don't Try That Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren sees a tragic part of his past that he didn't notice before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter sixteen!
> 
> An early update, because I missed a Saturday :). Managed to make this chapter a little longer since I already sort of had it planned out in my head.
> 
> *UPDATES ARE EVERY SATURDAY!

It was raining, hard. The droplets feeling cold on his already numb skin. His brown hair was plastered to his damp forehead, his nose was just above the water. Eren gradually opened his emerald eyes to a rainy forest.

_Back here again..._

He stayed there for a few moments, his eyes stinging slightly due to the fact they were submerged in the water. Slowly, he sat up, his clothes thoroughly soaked by the rain water. As it did before, the skies thundered.

He found no giants lurking at the corner of his eye.

His shirt stuck to his skin as he stood up, pushing himself off the muddy ground. Everything was just as it was before - albeit quite a bit darker, the water levels a few inches higher, and his surroundings, deadlier. He walked through the damp, almost misty forest. It seemed that every branch he walked by, wanted to skewer him. A scent he couldn't identify hung in the heavy atmosphere. Eren moved slower, trudging through the puddles. He kept looking side to side warily, wondering when the Rogue Titan would show up.

_Where is that stinking bastard?_

Tree roots stuck out to trip him. Rain pelted down on him. 

His thoughts echoed eerily - though indistinguishable from the last and the next.

As he kept walking, he though he could hear screaming.

 _"Did you kill them?!" Yelled an anguished voice,_   _"Was it you?!"_

Eren stopped walking, 

_"I'll kill you! I'm gonna fucking butcher you!"_

_"Fight!" Strained a voice. "You must fight!"  A wheezing breath,_   _"If you win, you live. If you lose, you die...!"_

_"What the hell were you thinking, brat?!" Interrupted a voice._

_"If you don't fight, you can't win!"_

_"I... can't do it!" A shaking voice answered back._

He remembered.

He had forced Mikasa to kill a man - to dirty her innocence.

 _They deserved it,_ he thought.

Suddenly, he heard sobbing. Fearful screams.

_Our house is definitely safe!_

Not this...

_Once I make a turn here, our house will be there like always!_

Eren didn't want to listen.

He heard a sharp breath.

_"MOM!"_

_"MOM!" He yelled more desperately._

_"Eren -"_

_"Mikasa, grab that side." He said breathlessly, "We need to move this pillar."_

There was the sound of footfalls, but not those of the Rogue Titan.

_"Hurry, Mikasa!" He yelled urgently._

_"I know!"_

_"The titans are coming in."_

His mother's voice echoed through his head, the voice he had missed so much.

_"Eren, take Mikasa and run." She said._

Eren shut his ears, but the volume of her voice was all the same.

_"Hurry!"_

_"I want to run too!" Yelled his own hoarse voice, "Hurry up and get out!"_

_"My legs have been crushed by the debris."_  
  
Eren's eyes stung, this time, not with rain, but with tears.

_"I can't run even if I get out." She said, "Do you understand?"_

_"I'll carry you and run!"_

_"Why can't you listen to what I say for once?!"_

Eren flinched.

_"Please just listen to me! Just one last time!" Screeched his mother's voice, "Mikasa!"_

_"No... No!" Refused his sister._

_"At this rate, all three of us will..."_

_There was the sound of zipping wires._

_"Hannes!" Her mother said, relief filling her voice, "Take the kids and run!"_

_"Don't take me lightly, Carla." "I'll kill the titan and save all three of you."_

_"Wait! You can't fight it!"  
_

_There was a zing of iron against iron - his blades. But there was no sound of the ripping flesh of a titan. Instead, he had gone to pick up Eren._

_"Hey, Hannes!" He screamed, "What the hell are you doing?"_

_"Thank you." Whispered his mother._

_"Mom is still trapped there!" He yelled, being carried farther from his mother._

He closed his eyes, and he could see his mother's face.

_"Eren! Mikasa!" She screamed, an arm out, as if to connect with her brethren. "Live on!"_

_Tears streaked down her face, and she put a hand to her mouth, sobbing._

_"Don't go..."_

Eren's eyes almost snapped open from her words - he had not heard them in his frantic screaming. He was disgusted with himself - why hadn't he been stronger? But he needed to see his mother's face, even if it was full of fear, so he kept his eyes sealed shut.

_The Smiling Titan pulled her from the rubble._

_"STOP!!!"_

_Eren watched his mother struggle, her legs, perfectly fine. Kicking at the titan's enormous hand. She had been_ _lying_ _to him. Her legs had not been crushed by the debris. She had lied to save him._

_The titan snapped her spine in half, then chomped down on her limp body._

Only then, had Eren open his eyes again.

In front of him, sat the Rogue Titan.

Eren stumbled back from surprise.

 ** _"Tragic."_** It said.

Eren didn't say anything back, choosing to stare at the behemoth instead. But he couldn't hold himself back from saying,

"You." Eren hissed.

 _ **"You're determined to get rid of me, aren't you?"**_ Its fierce green eyes pierced into him,  _ **"You'd even DIE."**_

It's smile stayed on it's face.

**_ "Don't try that again." _ **

Eren's head pounded with the pitter patters of the rain.

**_"Because its not going to work."_ **

Eren's eyes narrowed.

The Rogue Titan stood up from it's crouch, saying nothing more. It left, thundering step, by step, leaving Eren to the rain.

He wondered what he would do, he didn't know how to leave the rainy forest. - which he suspected was just his mindscape. 

_How do people wake up from dreams?_

Fear certainly wouldn't work.

_Death._

As soon as he realized that, he felt his ears start to ring. The rain became muted and the thunder was mere background noise. Black spots started to appear in his vision and he felt his lungs stop working. The sharp noise in his ears became impossibly loud.

He blinked.

He was in a prison cell, and someone was hitting their gun to the metal bars of his cell for his attention.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments are always appreciated!


	17. Conflicting Thoughts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren never thought he would end up in the courthouse yet again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter seventeen!
> 
> Glad I managed not to screw up the updating time.
> 
> *UPDATES ARE EVERY SATURDAY!

Eren felt his bones creak in protest as he sat up in a rickety bed. The metallic clangs had stopped, and in place, there was a smattering of footsteps.

The rusty metal door of his prison slowly opened.

There was a certain suspense. It was dark, so dark, Eren wouldn't have been able to even see his own hand from two inches away. The torches provided minimal light,  _almost_ enough light to be able to see a silhouette. Eren could feel the silent weight of chains on his wrists and he knew,

_I'm the prisoner._

The darkness seemed to creep closer to him - and he realized - the darkness was fear.

Fear of him.

The aura surrounding him was dense, and he knew why.

They all shook, terrified. Sweat rolling down their necks. Each pair of eyes, staring, blown wide.

None were laughing  _now._ Not one guard had the guts to try and threaten him or call him.

_**S** e **r** v **e** s  **t** h **e** m **right.**_

All those bloody bruises Eren had sustained, all the cuts and scrapes, each and every mar - gone.

_**They** **should be afraid.** _

_They shouldn't be afraid._

**_I'm a titan._ **

_I'm not a titan._

Slowly, two shivering figures came up to him.

"W-We're... here to b-bring y-you to... to the c-court..." Said one of them. "Do n-not res-resist. Or w-we'll have to -- have t-to... kill y-you."

None of the two looked very confident in their abilities.

They certainly weren't capable, with their shaky hands and fear stricken faces.

The two slowly advanced, and Eren noticed quickly that they were from the Military Police.

Eren did not resist.

He let them shackle his wrists, his ankles - not that it would be much help anyway.

**_L_** _e **t** t **h** e **m** t **h** i **n** k **t** h **e** y **'r** e **s** a **f** e **.**_

A whole swarm of soldiers walked him to the court, in a tense, nervous atmosphere - and it  _irritated_ him.

But he grit his teeth and stuck with it. He walked tersely. Each man and woman was armed with a rifle.

Their footfalls echoed through the dark hallways.

But soon, they were out of the cramped halls. 

The sky seemed to be painted red. The sun was setting - they were at the break of dusk.

His one bare foot scraped against the stone hard floor but he paid it no mind.

A giant wooden door was in view, and as he got closer, the door seemed to tower over him.

Two soldiers oped the door and for not the first time, he was greeted by the courthouse. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ready for some drama?


	18. The Same, Blood Thirsty Demon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Commanders propose their plans of action.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter eighteen!
> 
> If you want a good song to go along with this chapter, great song, fits pretty well (namely 0:40 - 1:20 & 1:28 - 2:13 & 2:24 - 2:31 & 2:38 - 3:33).  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jGALaVgwdc0
> 
> And wow! Over 1000 hits?! I'm stunned.
> 
> *UPDATES ARE EVERY SATURDAY! (And summer break's coming soon!) :D :D :D

As he dragged his feet along into the courtroom, he could see the eyes of every human fixed on him. The serenity was immediately stifled.

He felt a gun being pressed into his back and he was pushed forward at gunpoint. 

_**A** s **i** f  **t** h **a** t **'l** l **d** o **a** n **y** t **h** i **n** g **.**_

Eren looked up at the judge - Darius Zackly.

"On your knees."

He did as we was asked and knelt. They locked his hands in place.

"Shall we begin?" He picked up a paper and cleared his throat. "Your name is Eren Jeager of the Survey Corps. As a soldier, you have sworn to to give up your life when called to for the good of the people, is that correct?"

He merely nodded.

_That's truer than ever, now._

As the Commander of the armed forces passed the formalities, Eren stared at the crowd.

They were all here. Mikasa, Armin, Levi, Commander Erwin, Hange, Jean, Connie, Sasha, Reiner, Berthold, Christa, Ymir.

"I will decide the outcome of this trial." Zackly finished. "Any objections?" 

_That didn't really sound like a question._

Despite Eren's silence, Zackley continued.

"Let us proceed."

Whispers broke out.

"I would like to hear each side of this story along with a suggestion of action, starting with the Military Police."

"Thank you, my name is Nile Dok, the Commander of the Military Police." He started.

The attention shifted to said man.

"Myself and several others witnessed his titan form in the field when returning with Dot Pixis, the Commander of the Garrison."

There were gasps.

"Eren Jeager shifted unauthorized  _and_ without supervision." Nile stared straight at Eren, "We believe this monstrosity is too dangerous and unpredictable - he must immediately be put to death." 

The crowd looked at Eren, eyes trained on him.

The air turned sour and the fear coming from others seemed to push at him.

_A monster?_

_Is that what they all think I am?_

_No._

_No._

_That isn't me._

_It's -_

**_Me._ **

**_Dangerous and unpredictable? Sounds about right._ **

_No no no._

_I'm - I'm not... I'm not..._

_**We're one being.**  
_

_No we aren't._

_You can't be me - you're too - too..._

**_We're the same, blood thirsty demon._**

Eren snapped back to reality as Zackley said,

"I'd like to now hear the Scout Regiment's suggested plan of action."

"Yes sir, as the Commander of the Survey Corps, I, Erwin Smith, propose this action be overlooked, as this was merely an accident."

"An accident you say?"

"Yes, Jeager fell and unintentionally cut his leg. He was later transferred to the infirmary."

Someone in the crowd burst out and yelled, 

"What does this have to do with anything?!" Though what was said, remained ignored in favour of listening to Erwin speak.

"It is known that when a titan shifter inflicts harm on oneself, they transform, but Eren did not. A clear goal must already be in his mind for him to transform. For example, to pick up a teaspoon. Something as menial as that can trigger a transformation as long as there is a wound. I believe he fell out the window and he transformed to break the fall, though I do not know the full story."

"So you think there should be no consequences?"

Erwin nodded in affirmation.

"Now, what does the Garrison say?"

"I am Dot Pixis, Commander of the Garrison, I support Commander Smith's proposal, as it is viable." He said shortly.

Zackley nodded.

Eren gritted his teeth.

 _I don't want to hurt you,_ He looked at his friends, who had followed him all the way to the Survey Corps.

"Lastly, I'd like to listen to Mikasa Ackerman's part of the story."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keep in mind that there's no lying in the courtroom (in my head cannon, lying/perjury is considered a serious crime under an oath. So if someone lies and they get found out, they get the death penalty. Just wanted to mention that).


	19. I Heard a Voice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why did you jump?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter nineteen!
> 
> Sorry about the late update, things got a little busy and I completely forgot to write up this chapter... On the bright side, it's Summer Break, so I've got the free time to make chapters longer!
> 
> *UPDATES ARE ON SATURDAY!

MIkasa jumped a little at her name, but she stepped forward calmly.

"I am Mikasa Ackerman of The Survey Corps."

Zackly looked at her as he questioned, "Tell us what happened."

"I was going to visit Eren at the infirmary. And... I saw him fall out of the window."

"Did he fall, or did he  _jump?"_

_Tell him the truth._

"He... jumped."

Chatter arose.  

"Did he say anything?" Queried Zackly, ignoring the crowd.

"I caught him by the boot, and then he said something." Mikasa said, trying to withhold as much information as possible.

"What did he say?"

"To let go, that that was the only way." Mikasa said and added, "and I tried to convince him to live. I believe he listened."

"Your story certainly fits - as Eren Jaeger is missing a boot."

That fact was abruptly brought to attention.

"I assume he jumped, and transformed to save himself because you convinced him to do so?"

Mikasa nodded in affirmation.

_**N** o **t** t **r** u **e** **.**_

"Does anyone have something to add?"

"Yes, I do." Said Nile.

"Proceed."

"I believe Eren Jeager is mentally unstable. He was the one who attempted suicide in the first place, but for what reason? And I want to remind you that Eren Jeager killed two adults at the age of nine - one of them having  _multiple_ stab wounds."

The crowd gasped.

"He's insane!"

_**A** m **I?**_

"He can't be trusted!"

_**C** a **n** I **?**_

"I did not mention this in the previous court session as I believed it to be inconsequential. Granted, it  _was_ in self defense, but I don't believe over _seven_  fatal stab wounds are necessary to kill one man." Nile said.

Zackly acknowledged this.

"Yeah?! Well I was right beside him when it happened!" Mikasa burst out, "And I murdered a man as well...! Who's to say I'm not insane as well?"

The men and women stared at her.

"Perhaps she  _is._ " Suggested a man.

"Now, this is  _not_ Mikasa Ackerman's hearing, but Eren Jeager's. I would like to proceed with the hearing," said Zackly, turning to Eren.

"Now, I would like to ask Eren Jaeger: Why did you jump?"

**_Why did you jump?_ **

"I heard a voice."


	20. Final Decision

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren's court ruling is made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter twenty!
> 
> Wow, finally at chapter twenty. And NEARLY at 100 kudos! XD  
> Thank you to everyone who has been reading this fanfiction and an extra thanks to everyone who gave me feedback! :D
> 
> *UPDATES ARE EVERY SATURDAY!

Mikasa blanched, looking at her brother. Had someone outright told him to go  _jump?_

 _Who,_ she thought,  _would do such a thing?_

_Why did he not tell me?_

_Why? Why? WHY?!_

She could have helped him!

Ymir thought she would have a heart attack at his statement. He really  _was_ aiming to get executed. He _sincerely_ wanted to get killed. 

_That IDIOT!_

"A voice you say?" Zackly said in interest.

"Recently, I've been having... hunger issues."

 _Shut up shut up shut up-_ Ymir had to do something.

"I faltered one day and cut myself." He was _not_ about to tell Zackly his friends had lied in the court in a vain attempt to spare him from execution. "I lost consciousness and I had a vision."

_Shut up!_

He opened his mouth again - reluctant.

_I don't want to die yet._

"I found myself looking at a titan - me."

Reiner and Bertolt looked at Eren like he was a mad man.

"It told me-"

"BULLSHIT!"

They all looked at Ymir.

 _What are you doing, Ymir?_   Thought Krista.

"Titans can't speak!"

Zackly looked at Ymir, then to Hange.

"Can they?" He queried.

"I..." Hange spluttered - that was the first time anyone had heard her falter when asked about titans, "We found a journal outside the walls on one of our expeditions - the journal of Ilse Langnar."

Hange continued.

"In her journal, she documented the moments before she was eaten by a titan. She may have been delusional, we don't know. But the titan who ate her talked to her - presumably because it had mistook her as someone else."

_Damn!_

Chatter arose in the crowd.

"Hey, is she trying to say... all those titans we've killed... they were sentient?" Connie whispered, just loud enough for the 104th cadets to hear.

_You don't know just how true that is..._

Zackly hit his hand against the desk to quiet the people.

"This matter will not be discussed at this moment. Eren Jeager, continue."

 _Fuck!_ Thought Ymir.

The 104th cadets grew tense, realizing what Eren was about to say would be looked upon seriously. 

"It told me I ate my father and that I would eat my friends too." At that point, they all knew what he meant by hunger issues.

The court went quiet.

"Kill him!" Someone suddenly shouted. "He's dangerous to us all! Once he's eaten his friends, who will this monster go for  _next?!"_  

"Before he comes for anyone, I'd have killed him, so shut your mouths!" Levi said back.

"Quiet!" Yelled Zackly.

A deafening silence fell upon the court house again.

Zackly looked at Eren once again.

"When I woke up, I could hear it still. And I realized that if I died, it would die too."

"Which led to you attempting suicide. But then, why did you shift?"

"It wasn't me who did it, it was the titan."

"Do you mean to say you had no control over your transformation?"

"Sir! Eren Jeager is highly unstable! He must be removed!" Said Nile.

Zackly was quiet.

The court house was mute with tension, awaiting Zackly's final decision that would either save or destroy Eren Jeager's life.

"I have made my decision."

They all tensed.

 _Save him... Please let him live... -_ Mikasa.

 _He's doomed. -_ Armin.

_There's no way he'll let Eren go, there's just too much at stake._

"Eren Jeager, you have been an asset to humanity. I acknowledge you have saved many lives, but now, you pose a threat to the people."

"I understand." He said.

_**Do you really?** _

_**Is this what you want?** _

Zackly nodded solemnly, and said, 

"Eren Jeager's execution will take place in an hour." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shit just hit the fan.


	21. I'm Sorry I Have to Leave You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mikasa didn't know if she could withstand watching her brother die. The first time had been bad enough - and she hadn't even witnessed it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter twenty-one!
> 
> I managed to get this chapter to be longer! :D  
> And we're finally over 100 kudos! XD  
> Here's a good song to listen to!:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hhSA9H9Iaqw&list=PLjr4imAUPB5XyXM8m_gaz7dJy6F_L7499&index=119
> 
> *UPDATES ARE EVERY SATURDAY!

Mikasa froze.

_Execution...?_

A rush of anger and impulsiveness took her.

_You..._

_You..._

_HOW COULD YOU?!_

Mikasa had no hesitation hidden behind her movements, as she drew her blades out of their slots, the familiar zing of unsheathing blades.

"YOU UNGRATEFUL BASTARD!" She screamed, her voice holding a lethal feeling.

Eren looked at his adoptive sister just in time to see her trying to get at Zackly's neck, her blade having been stopped by Corporal Levi.

Gasps escaped from the crowd.

"You're being senseless," stated Levi.

"I don't care!" Mikasa said through gritted teeth.

Levi's eyes narrowed.

Zackly looked at the two soldiers standing on his desk, dangerously close. 

Just as Levi thought his ankle wound would split open again - for the second time - because of the same person, a voice cut through the thick haze of anger that had surrounded Mikasa's mind.

"Mikasa, stop. It's fine."

The raven haired girl stared at Eren, her eyes dilated.

"No it's not fine!" A small crack in her voice seemingly unnoticed. 

Her knuckles were white from gripping her blades so tightly.

"Don't you understand?" The volume of her voice was down, her grip slackened. She walked away from Zackly and Levi - almost calmly - and approached Eren.

"You're going to be executed," she whispered, the air tensed as she got closer to Eren.

Her eyes were a stormy grey, reflecting her emotions. Anger,

_How can you say this is fine?!_

Fear...

_How will I ever be the same without you?_

Despair.

_In less than an hour you'll be gone forever..._

"I know that. It's my own fault." 

"None of this is your fault." Mikasa crouched down to look at him, "None of it."

Before Eren could say anything to her, he heard someone yell.

"You monster! Get away from her!"

Mikasa's head snapped towards the one who had called her adoptive brother a monster, they immediately shut up.

But that didn't stop more and more people from shouting.

"He's dangerous, get away from him girl!" Someone shouted to Mikasa.

Mikasa seethed at them all. She found that Eren was not saying anything to them - not protecting himself.  _Accepting_ all of it - he looked so broken to Mikasa. His fiery spirit was gone. His eyes dulled with hopelessness. 

"Mikasa, this is the last time we're going to see each other before my execution."

It hurt. It hurt, coming from her brother's mouth. The pit in her stomach grew.

"So I want you to-"

A rock hit his head, but not hard enough to bruise.

"Monster!" was the word that was yelled out from the crowd, as the rock tumbled to the ground.

Sticks and rocks brought from outside showered down on Eren, aimed purely at him.

"Stop taking advantage of her!"

_Are they all retarded?! If Eren gets wounded, he'll...!_

Mikasa hugged Eren tightly, stopping the projectiles from coming.

"What are you doing?!"

For a moment, Mikasa thought they would give up - but that seemed not to be the case.

"She's on their side!" 

It disappointed Erwin, how easily people's trusted the statements of others. So gullible and trusting - so misguided.

Immediately, the branches and stones started flying again, but the soldiers were ready. They pushed the crowd out the court, leaving only a third of the people in the room.

"What did you want to say?" Asked Mikasa, letting go of him, holding his shoulders gently.

Everyone stared at them, but they didn't care.

"I want you to know, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for dragging you into this mess. If I wasn't so adamant about joining the scouts..." Eren's green eyes refused to look at her sad grey eyes.

"It's okay," she said sincerely.

"I'm sorry I'm so weak."

"It's okay," she repeated softly.

Eren choked a little,  _Why does this have to be so hard?_

"I'm sorry I have to leave you."

"..."

Mikasa didn't say anything.

At some point, a soldier had removed the iron pillar keeping his hands in place. He lifted his chained hands to his collar, taking out the key to his father's basement connected to a string. He gingerly placed the necklace to rest on her neck. 

"...Here, keep it safe."

Just as he said that, he was taken away by the other soldiers.

Mikasa sat there, staring at the spot where Eren had been.

In the background, Zackly had decided the attempt on his life could be ignored. Mikasa was too valuable - the strength of a hundred soldiers.

Mikasa found her resolve crumbling.

_He's going to die._

_He's going to be gone forever..._

_and there's nothing I can do._

_Why does he have to leave me?_

"Mikasa, we're going." Armin somberly reminded her.

"Right." Mikasa stood up and joined her remaining family. She could barely hear Armin's words, as they walked side by side to where the Scouts would be staying temporarily. Since the expedition would soon be ending anyway, Commander Erwin had decided to just cut it short. It wasn't difficult to get some spots for the recruits, considering the amount of people.

Ymir herself felt rather lost. Not sure what to think. A fellow titan shifter was about to be executed. Would she meet the same fate - to be executed?

_No. Surely they wouldn't..._

Would they kill her, as a preemptive strike? To make sure she wouldn't go rabid, feeding on humans?

_But only the people who have the Founding Titan ability have this problem - and that's only if they don't have Royal blood!_

Ymir found it difficult to believe Eren had the Founding Titan's power, but there was no denying it. It was  _him._ How it could have ended up in  _his hands_ out of all people - she couldn't help but be puzzled. The Founding Titan power ran in the Royal Family's bloodline.

_But they don't know that._

_They won't trust me if they ever find out about my ability. They'll try to kill me._

"Ymir? Are you okay?" Queried Krista.

"Yeah, it's just... Eren will..." 

Their footsteps were quiet, the silence was stifling. Their temporary residence was not far, but the weight of the air made it seem longer than it really took for them to arrive. 

They split into pairs, with the exception of the higher ups, Hange... nobody wanted to be her roommate. Levi was a clean freak, and Erwin was the  _Commander._

Ymir, Krista, Mikasa, and Sasha were an even number of people. But they all thought Mikasa should get to be alone, they were all sympathetic with her. So Ymir and Krista made room for Sasha, even though it was a little stuffy, they were able to fit a third person into their room. Mikasa was more grateful for their thoughtfulness than she let on. She didn't think she would have lasted even a minute longer. As she shut the door to her room, she felt her knees buckle. She rested her head on the closed wooden door, silent tears trailing down her face as she clutched the imprint of the last thing Eren had given to her through her scarf - the key to the his father's basement. 

_"...Here, keep it safe."_

His solemn voice echoed through her head. His hopeless eyes flashed in her eyes.

_I won't let you down. I'll kill all the titans for you.  I'll make this world a better place._

When she finally stood up from her spot on the ground, it was already nearing nighttime.

Armin had not been faring well either. He didn't like to cry - it made him feel weak. Instead, he curled up in his lonely room. He was weak, and the others knew that. They pitied him, didn't they?

But this time, Armin couldn't bring himself to care. He was about to see his best friend die in less than an hour - or rather, see his best friend die  _again._ But this time, he wasn't going to come back. The executioners would shoot him through the head, Eren wouldn't survive.

_No one has the ability to survive a head shot. It's just impossible..._

Armin sighed,  _I'm going to lose my best friend again._

He was startled out of his thoughts when there were a few knocks on the door. 

"Armin, it's time," said Jean.

"Okay, I'll be right there, I'll go get Mikasa." Armin said, opening the door, before going to where Mikasa would be.

Jean nodded mutely. His expression, dark. 

"Suicidal bastard," Jean muttered, heading to the entrance of the building to await the rest of the 104th recruits who would be watching.

As Armin headed to Mikasa's room (she had told him earlier which room she would be in) he held a frown on his face. In the distance, he could hear Krista's soft voice.

"You have to come out," she said, biting her lip, "Mikasa, this is going to be the last time you see him."

Ymir stood behind Krista, waiting.

"She's refusing to come out, isn't she?" Asked Armin, looking straight at the wooden door.

Krista nodded, hoping Mikasa's best friend would be able to get her to unlock the door.

"Mikasa," Arimin tried to say in a strong voice, "Eren will want to see you there. What do you think he'll feel if you don't show up?"

Krista knew that was a rather harsh thing to say.

But still, Mikasa responded with silence.

"We'll be waiting for you," Armin said, with a softer voice. He looked towards Krista and Ymir, "Let's go. She'll be there."

They left the door of Mikasa's room quietly.

Sasha had already went ahead to their arranged meeting spot. The 104th recruits had decided to go as a group, they were all friends of Eren. Knew him in some way, through the life and death battles they had endured together. When Armin, Ymir and Krista had gotten to the meeting spot, Reiner, Bertholdt and Connie were there as well. All of them were wearing normal clothes.

"Armin, where's Mikasa?" Queried Connie.

"She's coming."

Not a moment later, Mikasa was by their side. Her eyes were slightly red from crying - though no one noticed - or rather, they ignored it, and her face seemed more pale than normal. But no one questioned it, instead, they began walking to the execution spot, where they would see Eren's final moments.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is pretty tragic, but let me tell you, the next chapter won't be the last :)


	22. Thank You, I'm Sorry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where are they?  
> Where are they?...
> 
> ...Are they even here?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter twenty-two!
> 
> This is probably my favorite chapter. 
> 
> *UPDATES ON SATURDAY!

_30 minutes earlier..._

Eren sat on the small bead in his cold dungeon room. The air was frigidly cold, but Eren's unusual heat kept the cold away. The demon inside him was quiet, but Eren knew better than to think it was gone. 

The young brunette found himself wondering what death was like.

_Mom..._

Eren's stomach clenched in on itself, seemingly begging for human meat. Eren curled up more in the small bed, in the middle of the dark cell. His chains clattered noisily, the few guards outside did absolutely nothing. He swallowed, his dry throat wanted nothing more but blood. 

He was so disgusted by himself. But then again, he was already used to it.

As time slowly ticked by, and the minutes before his execution slipped away, he found his consciousness slipping.

He awoke in that familiar rainy forest, actively registering the pain in his abdomen was gone. The water level was now at least a foot high, it weighed his chest down, making it difficult to breathe - though he found it strange he could breathe underwater in the first place. He slowly sat up, watching the water ripple as the rain poured down. In the distance, he could see a small figure sitting in the rain.

_Who is that?_

Standing up, he began walking in the direction of the figure. As he got closer, he registered unruly brown hair, just like his. He didn't stir from his sitting position, but Eren had a hunch he already knew Eren was there.

"Who are you?" Eren asked cautiously.

The other brunette turned around, his eyes shined vermilion.

 _ **"Rogue."**_ He stated shortly.

Eren stared at his copy with a puzzled look.

_**"Is it so hard to believe?"** _

Eren didn't say anything, choosing instead, to stand there quietly. He wasn't sure what to think. That monstrosity - had become a human? He glared at his red eyed doppelganger, distrust was evident in his eyes.

"Why?" Eren finally said.

_**"Why what?"** _

"Why are you... in this form?"

_**"You know how boring it can be sometimes? Just being here, looking at the sky? Besides, I feel a lot more peaceful like this."** _

Eren didn't say anything.

It was hard to believe that such a thing could become so tranquil. The  _thing_ was supposed to be a titan, something that was hated, something no one could ever sympathize with. But here he was, the very embodiment of something Eren thought was impossible.

_**"I know, a little harder to hate me now, huh?"** _

Eren had forgotten he could read his mind.

_**"Anyway, your execution is going to be in less than 20 minutes. Any last wishes?"** _

"Why?"

_**"Oh, just curious."** _

_Curiosity now? What the actual fuck?_ But Eren cut off the thought.

"Last wishes..."

_Whatever. Not like they're going to ever come true. What's the hurt in talking?_

"I want all the titans to die."

_Especially the Colossal and Armored titans._

"I want those fat rich bastards in Sina to suffer."

_**"Figures."** _

"And the last one... I don't want any of my friends getting eaten."

It was strange, spilling out your thoughts to a titan  _(but wait, he can already read my thoughts anyway.)_

**_"...Is that all?"_ **

"Pretty damn sure."

Suddenly, Eren's "twin" twitched.

 _ **"It's time,"**_ he said.

Eren hadn't notice it when his red eyed copy had picked up a large jagged stone.

Eren jolted awake, his shackles once again clinking together.

Obviously, no one had noticed he had gone to sleep, as two soldiers mumbled something to him while unlocking his cage.

Eren sat quietly, letting them guide him - it took all his concentration not to take a bite out of the guard's arm. After awakening, the ache in his stomach had come back.

"It's time for your execution," one of them said.

_As if I didn't already know that._

Against his will, he felt his fear raising. No, he did not have a death wish - the prospect of dying terrified him. It was only natural, after having fought in a battle for his very own life, struggling and wishing to  _live_ so badly.No one could really blame him. He knew he had to die to protect the others.

He pushed down the feelings that were welling up, the feelings he couldn't afford to be having -  _it was already too late for him._

Too late to be saved.

Too late to wish for anything, really.

And it was because he was weak. Too weak to handle anything alone. He had been to weak to save his mother from a titan's jaws. Even now, he could do nothing but spout apologies to his sister. 

_I'm sorry I have to leave you._

What an idiot he was.

As he was directed outside, where the night air was chilly, and the moon hung high in the clouds.

He saw the crowd parting to let him and the guards through to a stage like scaffold.

Eren's emerald green eyes searched the crowd. 

_Where are they?_

He walked up the stairs to the middle of the scaffold.

A guard pushed him to his knees.

_Where are they?..._

His eyes saddened and he started to doubt they had come.

His executioner walked to him, a mask concealing their face. He felt cold metal meet the right side of his head.

Eren felt hot tears welling up and running down his cheeks.

_...Are they even here?_

His hunger couldn't be felt over the emotions welling up as tears.

Mixed emotions flashed through his eyes - feelings that only a small group in the crowd were able to see. Mikasa was in fact, there. Along with Armin and all the others - but Eren couldn't see them.

Her eyes met his, but his eyes never met her's.

Mikasa watched as the executioner put a gun to her brother's head. Watched as tears began to leak from his eyes, for once, not caring who saw him as weak.

_I couldn't keep him safe after all..._

She could have saved him. Maybe if she had fought before the bastards from the Military Police had taken him - Maybe, just maybe...But no. She couldn't save him any longer, even after she had told his mother she'd protect him. 

Connie never thought he would ever see the day Eren's will crumbled.

Sasha had never thought anyone of her friends would ever meet their ends by human means.

Jean was stunned. The tears in his rival's eyes - he had never thought those tears would ever be showed.

The expression on Krista's face was forlorn.

Ymir's eyes seemed to emit coldness.

Reiner and Bertolt held unreadable expressions.

Armin seemed downright close to a breakdown.

Eren lost hope, he couldn't find them. They weren't there. But in a strange way he was happy and at the same time he wasn't.

_It doesn't matter._

He smiled, tears still streaming down his face.

_**I** t **'s a** l **l** g **o** i **n** g  **t** o  **b** e  **o** v **e** r  **s** o **o** n **.**_

_**N** o  **m** o **r** e  **p** a **i** n **.**_

**_No_** _more **suffering.**_

His smile stretched across his uncharacteristically miserable face.

If they were there or not - he didn't know. But these would be his last words to them - regardless of whether they heard him or not.

Mikasa saw his lips move, and he said.

_Thank you,_

_for putting up with me._

_I'm sorry,_

_for all I've put you through._

_This is goodbye._

Several seconds passed by. The air was tense. The mood was despairing. The eyes that dared to watch did not face away. The atmosphere was taut with dryness. They waited for the trigger to be pulled, for the sound of a gunshot to ring through the air. 

One last thought ran through his mind.

_This is the end._

Mikasa watched in slow motion as the executioner pulled the trigger on the gun. She grew lightheaded and nauseous, her head swam in vertigo.

A loud resonating bang echoed through his head. A sharp pain that quickly disappeared.

The bullet shell dropped emptily to the ground, as Eren's body fell to the side, the sickening thump as his body met the ground - was met with cheering.

The bated breaths of the civilians were let out in screams of  _triumph._

"That monster is finally gone!"

The 104th corps listened, their eyes wide.

Cheering.

They were rejoicing their friend's death.

Armin dropped to his knees.

_Why are they happy? Don't they understand...?_

"WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU ALL SO HAPPY ABOUT THIS?!" Armin's yell went unanswered, drowned in the sea of jovial cheers.

"That monster deserved it!"

_He didn't._

"We're free!"

_We'll never be free. Whether the cage be these god forsaken walls or our own ignorance._

Mikasa's knees went wobbly. Her vision going dark as she fell from the shock of losing the last of her family - however, Jean caught her before she could hit the ground.

The civilians continued to celebrate.  _Celebrate the death of the only chance they had of true freedom._

 _This is disgusting,_ thought Krista,  _Always. Humanity has never been above all consequences. What gives people the right to take the lives of others?_

 _Humanity is corrupted,_ Ymir thought with disdain,  _Humanity has never really been honorable, has it?_

"We're finally safe from that thing!"

Suddenly, all the cheering was halted. 

They heard a loud crash of thunder and the bright light enveloped them all.

Chaos.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmm... I wonder what happened?


	23. Run

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The residents of Wall Sina are in chaos.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter twenty-three!
> 
> Yes, this chapter is quite a bit shorter than the last one. It felt strange to try to make it any longer. I hope the next chapter compensates! 
> 
> *UPDATES ARE EVERY SATURDAY!

A roar that seemed to challenge the sky was released.

Screams of terror from the citizens of the wall followed next.

The execution scaffold was crushed under Rogue's feet, like twigs under wagons. 

"Monster!"

"Call the Military Police!"

Armin stared up at the titan.

_There's no way..._

"We need to get away from here!" Yelled Jean.

Armin looked behind himself to see Jean trying get the others to move while Mikasa was draped over his arms.

The mushroom headed blond snapped out of his daze.

"All of you need to get your heads back together!" Jean yelled desperately, ignoring the sting of pain in his arm, "Dammit! Get moving!"

Another roar quaked the earth they stood on and Armin noticed  _so many people_ just  _standing there._

A part of him wanted to just leave them to die - they had condemned his best friend to death. Went to the execution just to make sure he would not live - they were  _cruel people._ They deserved to be left behind, but no - that would make Armin just as horrible of a human being as them.

And so he yelled, "RUN!"

That word triggered the flock of men and women to flee. Screams filled the air - so piercing it made his ears pound. His friends helped to guide all the frantic people - trying to prevent anyone from being trampled. While Armin watched the Rogue titan walk away.

He had mixed feelings on the situation.

On one hand - he was happy Eren was alive. But on the other, Eren wasn't in control.  _He wasn't in control._ Just like last time. Armin had to somehow get him to regain sense - but even if he did, he would be executed. They would cut him out and order for him to be  _beheaded_  instead. A less humane way of execution - and Corporal Levi would need to do it himself. Despite Levi's uncaring attitude, Armin knew Levi was not one who would be overjoyed at the prospect of killing someone who was under his command.

Armin rubbed his temples.

_He was going to die before. I accepted he would be gone._

_But now..._

_He could live._

Armin looked at the behemoth.

He needed to somehow think up a plan. 

_Come on come on come on! What can I do?!_

_He won't survive long outside the walls. He isn't that strong! An hour or two at most..._

"Armin! We need to get our gear!" Yelled Connie.

"R - Right," Armin stumbled after his group.

The execution site was mostly cleared out at that point. Rogue was however, not present. 

"You guys!" A voice interrupted them, mid-run.

Hange, Levi and Erwin were seen.

_Of course they came to watch..._

They were without their gear as well.

"Let's stay as a group," said Erwin.

 _He's not going to call for the Military Police?_ Armin thought, confused. But he didn't question it - in case Erwin had forgotten, he didn't want to remind the Commander - though the chance he had only forgotten to alert the Military Police was slim.

The newer recruits of the Scouts obeyed without question. Running to the place they were staying, all the while, listening to the roars of the Rogue. It was likely the Military Police and Garison were already aware of the Rogue, as the second thunderous roar was louder than the first - as if to say -

_Come at me._

When the group reached the place they were staying, they realized the doors were locked. The lights were out - which meant the the soldiers had left, most likely on orders by a different Commander.

"Damn! It's locked!" Ymir rattled the door knob uselessly.

Erwin was about to give the order to go to go to a supplies room with no other choice.

"Move over." Levi said in a tired voice.

Ymir did as she was told. Wondering what Levi was planning to do - until he kicked the door open.

_Why didn't I think of that?_

"Retrieve your gear as quick as possible and meet here," Erwin said.

"Yes sir!"

They ran through the door, Jean however, was halted.

"What happened to Ackerman?" Asked Erwin with a calculating gaze.

"She well... fainted. If you don't mind, I'd like to get her to a hospital."

"I see. Once you have your gear, you have my permission," Erwin said.

Jean nodded, stepping on the fallen door. Treading on the dusty wooden floorboards as the three higher ups outside went in a different direction for their gear.

_Dammit!_

Jean heard the whir of 3DMG outside.

_Military Police..._

He continued on, Mikasa still weighing him down.

_Oh man. Mikasa's heavy._

_But she's clearly not a pig... oh shit. That's all muscle._

Jean retrieved his gear hastily.

The moment he was out the door, he was already in the air.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry not sorry...mushroom headed blond.  
> YES. Mikasa is buff.


	24. Cowards

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally, independence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter twenty-four!
> 
> Sorry about the late chapter. I'm an idiot, I thought I already had this up on Saturday.
> 
> This chapter's a little gory. Be warned: I literally only killed one person.
> 
> *UPDATES EVERY SATURDAY! (I just realized that each time I write "Saturday", I'm writing "turd" as well. Haha.)

Rogue relished in his freedom, set free after so long - the last time, he had not known what was happening, why they were all calling him Eren -  _Snap out of it!_ They had said. That had been his first taste of freedom. Afterwards, he had sought after independence - wanting to feel whatever it had been he had felt before.

The air rushed past his pointed ears, the foreign sound of buildings crumbling. The faint screams of the humans below. Something other than water under his feet.

_Different._

That was what it was.

New and unpredictable was the community before him - but he found that walls, barricades, separated him from whatever was outside. 

He took in everything he saw, each thing he sensed. Something other than the musky smell of a rain forest. 

The titan roared ferociously. A fearful response coming from all the humans who heard - like an echo that did not copy his voice. The moonlight on his back.

Another building fell to his quaking footsteps - one that was not as sturdily built as the others. 

He stopped suddenly.

A woman under the rubble, pleading for help. Voice hoarse from yelling. She was too close to Rogue - no one dared to approach.

_Not one person had the guts to go help her._

_**Cowards**_ , he thought.

He began to move away from the human, who's life he did not care for. If the kin of the human were too cowardly to even try and help her, she would die. It wasn't his responsibility to help the human. But then he stopped.

 _Save her,_ something whispered in his ear.

The thundering footsteps halted.

_Save her. You have to._

The people bellow trembled in fear at the abrupt stillness.

_You can't let it happen again._

Rogue thought for a moment, trying to figure out who was talking to him.  

_**Eren.** _

Rogue had thought Eren would be unconscious - or perhaps he was just a stubborn brat and that was his subconsciousness whispering.

_Save her._

This was ridiculous. Save a human? Him? For god's sake! He was a  _titan._

He took a step forwards, but he felt guilt trying to pull his feet backwards.

_**Damn it all.** _

He walked to the woman trapped under the rubble. Stopping right in front of the terrified woman, he easily lifted the rubble that had been slowly suffocating her. The woman, previously horrified by his presence, wore a face of confusion. 

"Why did you help me?" The woman asked meekly, her words reaching his ears as a whisper.

**_Why did I help you?_ **

Rouge looked straight at her with his piercing forest green eyes. 

The woman obviously had not expected for him to answer.

 **"You called for help."** He said in a gritty voice.

The woman stood there, stock still. 

Rogue unbent his knees and continued on his way, willing himself not to look back. 

_**Is he going to make me help every fucking human who's stuck under rubble?** _

Eren had gone silent. 

Rogue had not expected him to be able to talk on the first day, anyway. 

The titan released a puff of steam from his serrated teeth. Staring at the faraway moon that glinted in his eyes.

All too suddenly, the whir of machines reached his pricked ears. Judging by the way the gears sounded, the way they zipped around - they were not experienced. Clearly, they were scared. It was their first time seeing a titan, probably.

They were acting on a "Kill on Sight" order. 

"Remember! It's just a titan!" Yelled Nile Dok.

_**Pompous bastard. Don't group me with those mindless idiots.** _

Rouge turned around, feeling a small prick on his leg. He swung his foot as soon as the unfortunate soldier who had thought he would be able to cut his legs got within four meters to him. The small figure slammed into a building.

A horror filled scream followed. Another small figure swooped down to where her fallen comrade was, checked his heart and sighed with relief. 

 **"Leave me alone, or else the next one won't be as lucky,"** Rogue said, almost looking regretful at the barely alive soldier. 

Nile knew titans were able to talk due to the revealing court session, but that didn't stop him from being distrustful of his ears. He however, refused to let disbelief show on his face.

"Don't mock us!"

The soldiers of the Military Police backed down, not wanting to become like the man who had been swatted like a fly. 

Nile became enraged. The soldiers, disobeying his orders. 

"All of you!" Nile yelled, "Have you forgotten the consequences of doing what you are doing now?!"

Not one of the Military Police wanted to die. But execution was better than the gory jaws of a titan.

Nile flew at Rogue.

The titan acknowledged Nile was skillful - as was expected from a Commander - but if the man thought he was capable of putting Rogue down, single handed...

He was wrong.

Rogue caught the wire that had been aimed at his shoulder in a firm grip and slammed the Commander into the edge of a building. Blood smeared across the structure, the small crack of a broken skull. A vermilion liquid dripped down the side of the building, as Rogue slowly let go of the wire and sighed.

 **"Don't follow me,"** he said, silently hoping they would just let him go and spare him the sight of more blood.

The soldiers obeyed silently, staring at the bloody smear on the edge of the building, bits and pieces of organs. Glad that laying there, was not themselves. They turned their attention to their comrade, not wanting to think about it anymore. 

Rogue watched as they helped the unconscious man he had injured. Satisfied that none would come after him, he walked away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bye, Nile Dok. You won't be missed (JK, I might miss writing the reactions people have at things you say... MIGHT). Though yeah, I really did just kill off a Commander.


	25. Awake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mikasa wakes up in a hospital.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter twenty-five (three quarters to a hundred!)
> 
> Oh wow, the chapter summary sucks more than usual. 
> 
> *UPDATES ON SATURDAY.

Mikasa scrunched up her eyebrows. Slowly surfacing from her unconscious state, even though she didn't really want to. She felt tired, so tired, but there was an even more prominent thought above that. Like something was missing. Something more important to her than her own life? She didn't want to know. As she shifted a little, wanting to go back to the blissful dark she had been in before, she felt something on her collar bone. It was heavy, slightly ridgid, warm because of her natural body temperature. 

A key.

And the memories suddenly all came flooding back. They caught her unprepared and the feeling of loss abruptly swelled to three times the size that it was before.

Because she _knew_ exactly what was gone.

Everything she wanted to protect. 

She had failed so horribly - why?

Why hadn't she fought harder?  _Tried,_ like her everything had been on the line - because it  _had._

She fought down the engulfing despair because she didn't want it. Didn't want to feel it. Didn't think she could handle anything more than a mere thought.

She closed it all in. Along with the despair her mother and father's deaths had brought her. Shut all of her emotions up and locked them with iron chains.

She felt her heart sink with the invisible weight of her un-released emotions.

It was gone. Left with just a numb void. Despair, barely lingering. Her energy was drained. 

She was alright with that.

Mikasa shifted a little, hearing the rickety bed she was on. Her grey eyes adjusted to the moonlight that was cast into her room. She sat up, ruffling the off-white sheets.

"You're up?" 

Jean stood to her left, about to exit the room after spending a few minutes sitting by her, he was, afterall, part of the Survey Corps still.

"How long has it been?" She asked.

Jean knew what she really meant,  _How long has it been since Eren died?_

"Eren isn't dead."

Mikasa looked up at him.

"What... What do you mean by that?"

"He uhh..."

"What's going on outside?"

"He went full-on titan and ran," Jean said.

Mikasa abruptly tried to stand up - but Jean stopped her.

"The doctor says you need rest. Stay here," that was a lie. The doctor had said she would be free to go as soon as she woke up and that it was nothing serious.

Mikasa shook her head.

"I don't need to." 

Jean honestly didn't want her to become involved in the fight. What had happened last time - he didn't want a repeat. Mikasa had nearly died.

"Mikasa -"

_"I'm going."_

She left no room for arguments.

Mikasa stood up and strolled past Jean. Fully intending to walk to the place her gear was.

"Wait - Mikasa!"

The raven haired girl turned back, Jean sighed.

"I'll get your gear for you."

"I'm coming with you."

Jean sighed again.

"Alright then. Hop on."

"Wait!" Yelled a woman.

The two of them turned to the lady that had called for them.

"Yes ma'am?" Jean asked politely, a frown on his face.

"Are you going after that titan?"

"Yes, we are." Mikasa answered.

"Are you... going to kill it?"

There was silence for a moment, before Mikasa stiffly said,

"If it comes down to it."

"Please, just..." Mikasa and Jean listened, wanting to know what she would say, "It saved my life. It's different. I don't know why I feel that way - I just wanted to inform you." The woman was about to walk away.

_Saved her life...?_

"What happened?" Mikasa asked.

The woman turned back.

"I was stuck under some rubble, I nearly bled out." She pointed at the blood soaked rip in her dress.

"Sorry, we're keeping you. Thank you for telling us." Jean said.

The woman smiled and walked away, a slight limp in her walk, while Mikasa thought that that scenario somehow seemed familiar.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Armin ran the plan over and over in his mind as he approached the titan. Seeing his silhouette. He caught a glimpse of a spattered blood on a roof top - barely distinguishing a face among the mess. He surveyed the destruction - surprisingly, it wasn't as gory as the... Shiganshina incident, but of course it wasn't. 

"Commander - I've found a body!" Armin said - though he wasn't sure the red mess on the roof could be considered a body.

Erwin looked back and embedded his hooks close beside Armin.

"Nile Dok." He said.

The corpse was mangled - neck broken in half. The ribs had punctured the skin and caused the mess of organs spilling out. His arms and legs stuck out in odd angles, his fingers surprisingly stayed intact.

"Oh man." Said Connie, looking revolted.

A small crowd had gathered around the corpse..

Levi didn't say anything, merely looking down at the corpse.

"We need to get a move on. There is nothing we can salvage." Erwin said, decisively.

The began moving again, their stomachs queasy. 

But there was a question that seemed to be on all their minds.

_Where is Eren going?_

From what Armin had heard, Eren's titan form had not killed anybody yet - Nile had been the first. 

He couldn't shake the feeling off - that something was different. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Know how much it bothers me when someone spells "angles" as "angels"? It's ridiculous.
> 
> Okay, I'm going to be honest and say that I was thinking of writing this - during the scene in which Mikasa wants to get her gear.  
> -  
> "Alright then. Hop on."  
> Mikasa stood there, making no move or indication she was planning to do that.  
> "Give me your gear. We can switch when we get there."  
> -  
> Yes, make Jean get piggy backed by Mikasa. But I just couldn't do it - for obvious reasons - Jean is taller than Mikasa...haha (face palm). Though it would have been funny.


	26. A Clue to a Big Complex Riddle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will he aid them?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter twenty-six!
> 
> Seventeen days until summer break is over... I'm crying inside. (TT_TT)  
> Well, anyway, I'm finally done a super long one shot (yey) and it's an Attack on Titan fic. Unfortunately, it isn't angsty at all. I'd say it's a little boring. Haha. It's called "Mikasa's New Scarf" in case you want to read it. Really though, it's not a very exciting fic, no executions or anything so there you go :)  
> I'm also starting another Attack on Titan fic (this one will be a lot more exciting, it'll also be a multi-chapter). It's still not posted, I'm just excited :D (when my child side shows... but I AM a child, I don't even know anymore).
> 
> *UPDATES ON SATURDAY!

Rogue let himself soak up the moonlight. Approaching the wall, it got taller and taller - he suddenly understood why Eren felt so caged. The towering "stone" looked oppressive, even to him. Eren's feelings about the walls - he found he very much agreed with him for once. It was supposed to protect them, shield them from the dangers of the outside world - but at the expense of their own freedom. He couldn't quite understand how humans could bare not knowing what was outside.

The towering figure's shadow was cast onto the town. Purposeful footsteps shaking the ground. He thought he could hear the quiet whir of 3DMG behind him. The Military Police again? He turned around, only to be surprised by Eren's friends ( _ **Eren's friends. Not mine**_ ).

The sky began to sprinkle the land with water and he wished it would stop, he'd had enough of rain.

"Eren! Can you hear me?!" Armin yelled, a hoping tone in his voice.

**"No, he can't."**

At that, Hange took here notebook out, scrawling down notes.

Rogue wished they would just leave him alone, because he didin't want to be close to people who couldn't understand him.

For a moment, no one said anything. Rogue stared at each of their puzzled faces.

"Eren, stop messing around! We're going to bring you to court again! We'll win this time for sure!"

Yelled someone who's name he couldn't recall at that moment.

They all stood a safe distance from him on the rooftops. 

"Eren, what's wrong?"

He wished they would all stop calling him that name, it wasn't his.

"Everyone, stop. There's clearly something else going on." He heard a faint whisper come from Hange.

"What..." 

Rogue hadn't been able to hear anything more than that, their whispers overlapped each other - he couldn't discern one from the other. When the whispering stopped, he wasn't sure what to expect.

"What's going on?" 

However, they were abruptly interrupted with the thumping of footsteps, not his own, but something else. His heart refused to listen, and began to beat faster. He knew what was beyond the wall - or rather,  _who._

"What was that?"

The short corporal looked towards the place the sound had originated from. A titan seemed to be scaling the walls - but that soon turned into more than just one.

"The titans are in Rose?! How is that possible?"

They watched as the Garrison tried to fend them off, their effort futile. Defenses steadily failing.

"We need to help them!"

Just then, Mikasa and Jean were arriving.

"Sir!" Jean said, "What is it?"

"Tell us what this is!" Erwin yelled to Rogue.

Rogue merely looked at him, and then to the titans trying to climb the wall.

Mikasa wondered what her brother was doing, he looked like he was conscious - but she couldn't understand, why wasn't he pulling himself out of his titan form?

Armin approached her from the side.

"Mikasa, that isn't Eren. Something's happened to him." Armin informed, "He isn't answering a lot of our questions."

Mikasa listened to him, her face not giving away anything.

"Who are you?" Mikasa suddenly said.

**"I don't have a real name. But you may call me Rogue."**

Something about that struck him as odd - then, something in Armin's mind aligned, like a clue to a big complex riddle.

"Could you be...the voice he would hear in his head?" Armin asked.

Unsurprisingly, Rogue didn't answer.

It was useless to try anything - except to take Eren out by force, which no one really wanted to do.

"Will you cooperate with us?" Erwin asked, a meaningful glimmer in his blue eyes.

Rogue looked at the Commander.

**"I'm not your enemy, on the other side of the wall, you'll find the one who _is."_  
**

"Is he your enemy as well?" Levi queried.

Rogue didn't say anything, but this time, it wasn't because he was trying to keep them from finding out too much. He didn't know the answer to Levi's question. He wasn't used to being talked to, to have a consciousness of his own. He never really had thought much about him.

"Rogue, were is Eren?" Mikasa looked at him, eyebrows furrowed.

**"Sleeping."**

"When will he wake up?"

_**More like "if."** _

There was a chance Eren would never wake up. Eren had been shot, point blank to the head - his human body was injured. It was healing still, but head shots were difficult to reverse. He didn't know how long it would take. But taking in account the fact that Eren still had a subconscious, there was a high chance he would wake up. The kid was stubborn, he could say that with confidence.

 **"In due time."** He decided to say,  **"But if you were to try and cut him out right now, he would definitely die. His body is still healing from the gun shot wound."** It wasn't a lie - but he was enjoying his freedom in titan form.

"But don't titans normally heal within the time span of several minutes?" Hange asked.

**"My energy is split right now, to healing Eren's human body so he doesn't die and to maintaining this body."**

Hange was back to scrawling notes in her book. Rogue was glad they had stopped bombarding him with questions (and that they had accepted his name so easily).

"Rogue!" Erwin said, "If you help us with capturing the enemy, there is a high chance the order on your life will be lifted! What do you say to freedom?"

Rogue had to say, his offer was tempting. He certainly didn't want to be hunted down for life - and he would gain Eren's trust by helping his friends and not killing them. And maybe... the next eight years wouldn't be so bad. Eren still hated him, he knew. But he was hoping Eren's hate for him would quell somewhat after he helped the Commander.

The green eyed titan nodded, agreeing to aid them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did anyone expect the Beast Titan to show up? I didn't. ;D  
> (I'm actually just bad at planning my stories out. In the beginning I'll always have a fuzzy plan for the story, and then, "Wait, I thought I had a plan to follow... oh whatever, this is a lot better than my plan.")


	27. Wall Titans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What's with the cloth on the wall?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter twenty-seven.
> 
> Sorry if you suddenly saw an "update" Friday, I idiotically miss clicked and posted it when I wasn't even done...haha, I sort of panicked when I saw "Chapter has been posted!" :')  
> Also, I'm really sorry about the late update! I was having trouble finding time to sit down and write. There would always be some event that no one warned me about in advance and I'd find myself getting home late. And by that time, my other family members are home too. I REALLY don't like to write when there's someone looking over my shoulder. Again, I apologize about the late update.

Mikasa wondered how she was supposed to feel. Eren was alive, yet he wasn't - not really. Eren was there, and yet she wasn't sure if she believed it, she couldn't see him, still could physically feel the metal key Eren had given to her. She was confused, so confused. That titan... it wasn't her brother? It was Rogue, but who was Rogue? Eren wasn't dead? She had seen him get shot in the head herself, heard it as well. 

_Think!_

Her mind wasn't accepting anything. She wanted to say she was feeling level headed, but she wasn't very sure she was. It was like every thought was moving at a sloth's pace.

_DAMMIT! I DON'T KNOW ANYMORE!_

A dense haze had settled.

She had to stop for a moment - have a little time by herself.

But the situation wouldn't allow it. 

_It's okay. It's okay. I don't need to understand everything. I don't need to be thinking about this right now._

"Follow my lead!"

So she did, knowing her friends were by her. Telling herself to just not think about anything. She occupied herself, feeling the rain on her back. Pitter pattering on the rooftops. 

She watched the back of the large titan, then her gaze retreated back to the small homes, toppling over and getting crushed. Obviously, someone had assumed she was worried about the citizens and if they were dying at that moment, as the next thing she heard was -

"Don't worry, everyone was evacuated to the underground city."

As if she could care less. But she nodded her head anyways. Keeping a neutral expression - she didn't need them knowing she was distracted.

They came across Squad Leader Mike and his team on their way. Erwin made the decision to regroup.

Mikasa didn't take too much notice.

"Comander, do you know what that is?" He was not referring to Rogue.

A question that everyone had been pondering.

"Our enemy."

The answer was a simple one, it shut everyone up. Even though they all still had questions bouncing around their minds.

She could tell that Mike was wary of Rogue by his fleeting gaze. It was understandable, really. 

"Commander," he said, Mikasa would hot have been able to hear him had she not been this close, "is this really..."

Erwin proceeded to debrief the Squad Leader quickly. It didn't look like he believed him, but Mikasa knew it didn't matter if he did or not. 

As they approached the wall, they noticed cloth covering a small part of the "stone". 

Erwin stopped, wondering why such a cloth was there. He recognized the place they were in as where Annie and Eren's titan forms had wrecked the buildings. The surrounding area looked like a different place in moonlight.

The rooftops were scarce, as the majority had been crushed. 

"Hange, go investigate." He said, as soon as he saw a wall cultist with a ladder. 

"Does it  _have_ to be me? I wanna see the titan behind this wall too!"

"You and Moblit may join us as soon as you are done with your investigation. Make it thorough."

Hange sighed.

"Yes sir." 

The Commander then looked away from her.

"The rest of you will follow me!"

Hange departed from the "main group" towards the wall cultist who was carrying the ladder.

 _The faster I get this done, the earlier I can join them._ She told herself.

She landed directly in front of the man, promptly hearing the sound of her Commander and all the others zipping away.

"Hello, would you happen to know who put that cloth up?" She asked, a smile present on her face.

"Why do you think I would know?" The man already sounded accusatory.

Her smile disappeared. 

"A hunch. Now, would you answer my question?"  _You're wasting my time._

The man was suddenly unnerved by her. Nevertheless, he refused to answer her.

"A hunch? Ridiculous!"

Hange gripped the man's collar.

"Do you know, or not?"

"N-no!"

Hange proceeded to drag him up the wall. 

"What do you think you're doing?!"

Hange reached the very top, where she could see the green on the other side of the wall. She held the man at the edge of the wall.

"Tell me who put it up." Hange said, quickly getting suspicious - what was he hiding?

The man shook slightly, feeling that there was nothing under him.

"I-It was M-Minister Nick!" 

Said man's voice seemed to appear out of nowhere.

"You!" He yelled. "What do you think you're doing to my follower?"

"We were just talking." She said, throwing the man she had been holding over the edge of the wall back to safety, "Wait here for a moment."

"I don't have time for this! My church is still under construction and my followers are in disarray-"

He was cut off when Hange jumped. She put her hook in the wall and proceeded towards the fluttering fabric covering a part of the wall. She lifted the soaked fabric up and thought-

_What is this?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In cannon, (start of season two) Eren is sleeping and Mikasa is by his side. But here, (I'm explaining this just so it doesn't get too confusing) "season two" is delayed by around a week or two.  
> The Beast Titan decided to (also) be steathier. Which is how he managed to get so close to Wall Sina (he's still Wall Rose though). I thought that hwould have been able to get his mission done a lot sooner if he were to travel around on a horse back instead and not attract so much attention (though he would have to shift into a titan to climb the wall, he doesn't have an gear).
> 
> One more thing - in cannon, Hange is (I think), non-binary. But I not very comfortable writing "they" instead of "he" or "she". So yes, she's a female in this fic. I'm not even sure if I've written Hange as a female in earlier chapters. But anyway, now you know.


	28. Throw

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Take cover!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter twenty-eight.
> 
> School is coming up. Not all that excited. I will probably be writing mostly on Saturdays - update day (Saturday - the day I've got two to four fanfictions to update) whew.   
> And about that, I've got another Attack on Titan fic up. (Why do I do this to myself?) To make it easier on myself, that fic is only going to update once every two weeks (unless the response I get is really good, because then I'll feel like a slacker because other people update nearly everyday and I do it every fourteen days). 
> 
> It's called "Lost In Autumn".  
> So far, I only have one chapter up - but if you want to read it, you'll find it if you click my name which is above the chapter name :D  
> It's a thriller type (yey) with lots of gang violence (yey again). Yes, it's modern day too.   
> Enough with telling you about this new fic, and onto the story you came to read.
> 
> Also, a little warning here: Minor Character Death.
> 
> *UPDATES ON SATURDAY!

They were at the wall. The stone as towering as always. 

Mikasa, Armin, Jean, Sasha, Connie, Ymir, Krista Reiner and Bertolt along with Erwin, Levi and Mike's squad attached their hooks into the wall, climbing quickly as they could. The screams of the Garrison soldiers could still be heard, though it was less numerous than before - which meant that the soldiers were diminishing. 

It was an unspoken order to "hurry the hell up," the more time they wasted, the more the soldiers dwindled. 

Rogue himself decided to climb as well - his hardened nails digging pits into the walls, though he took care not to destroy it too much. Rogue's advance was quicker than the others.

"Oh man," Connie whispered, watching Rogue climb up.

"Come on, we need to hurry," Jean said, a grim look on his face.

"Right."

Not long after, they were at the top. The titans were dispatched quickly, Levi not fighting at all - even though he had his gear.

They helped the injured to a safe place but could not take them to a safer place, they could not spare any soldiers to help the injured. It was clear that the Garrison soldiers would not be able to fight - there were only a few of them uninjured. They would only be a liability judging by the fearful looks on their faces.

Rogue, as soon as he reached the top had started to climb back down to land on the other side.

"I don't see-"

Sasha was cut off by an ear piercing roar. 

There was a high pitched whistling.

"More are coming!" A Garrison soldier whispered.

"What is?" Levi looked at the Garrison soldier.

His question was quickly answered when a titan seemed to fly over them, it's gaping maw just missing them.

Reiner's eyes widened. 

"Reiner, get ready."

He nodded discretely.

"What is this?!"

Gelgar screamed, "Take cover!"

Rogue roared, he picked up a stray titan and flung it right where it came from. 

Lynne, someone from Mike's squad, screamed for help. 

"He's injured!" She was referring to Henning.

"Put him with the Garrison for now!" 

Everyone but Lynne Henning and Thomas were already behind the wall, taking shelter. 

"Hurry! Another one's coming-"

Rogue snatched that very titan out of the air and flung it back, hitting the mark. The Beast Titan roared.

"W-What was that?" Thomas asked.

"Just hurry up!" Lynne yelled in response.

They successfully got their injured teammate to the group huddled behind a small fort made of wooden boxes, but as soon as Lynne and Thomas were in the open, a titan came flying at them - knocking the two of the off the wall. Their dying screams echoed and so did the dull thud the titan made when it reached the ground.

Rogue released another roar.

Mike stared at the ground where two of his team had landed - the titan had survived and devoured their crushed corpses. He could smell the evaporating blood of the titan as it healed.

"Commander! What are your orders?"

"The second the enemy stops firing, get over the wall and take shelter behind anything!"

Nanaba's eyes widened,  _We just have to hope no one dies._

A titan flew over her head and when Corporal Levi jumped up and over the wall, everyone followed. There was yet another high pitched whistle coming for them. Nanaba braced herself - just knowing it was headed for her. 

But it never hit her. 

It was a ten meter titan - bigger than all the other titans that had been three to six meters tall. It crashed into the wooden barricade the Garrison had been behind and they were all killed or eaten - along with her close teammate, Henning. However, she had to grit her teeth and leave him behind.

With no time to spare, everyone was able to get over the wall.

Ymir landed safely on her back, rolling over to her knees and standing up.

"Krista!"

"I'm right here."

Ymir ran to the small blond girl, helping her stand. 

"You alright?"

"Yeah."

Next, Ymir surveyed their surroundings, they had happened to land in a village in Wall Rose.

"Reiner." Bertolt looked to him.

"Got it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've actually never read the manga. I should probably do that.
> 
> Yes, the Beast Titan is throwing titans - Reiner style. Lol.


	29. Hide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Guess now's a good a time as any."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter twenty-nine.
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=764sg754LkQ&list=PLjr4imAUPB5XyXM8m_gaz7dJy6F_L7499&index=220  
> (La la la la la la laaaa la la laa)  
> This is another song that makes me seriously sad. Anyone else?
> 
> On the other hand: school. Classes haven't REALLY started up yet (we pretty much only did a few pages of math and wrote a litte, did some riddles and did a drawing) because the teachers are waiting on the school district and their decision for what will be happening and all that. Also, everything is sort of a mess because we're supposed to be getting more portables (two teachers still don't have a classroom). But the construction people are taking longer than expected (everything was supposed to be set BEFORE school started). Everything is a mess, I had someone over yesterday and couldn't write, going to the dentist and getting a hair cut later this week, piano lessons are starting up again (nooo), the summer heat is really getting to me. I have a lot on my plate - which is why this chapter is short and a little bit of a mess.
> 
> By the way: Minor Character Death.
> 
> *UPDATES ON SATURDAY!

Hange was zipping through the city alongside her assistant - Moblit. Her eyes were still wide from her discovery. She had just put Nick in a military living installment and was about to join her the Commander to tell him the news.

She began to scale the wall - but quickly noticed something was amiss. 

Wooden boxes, split open and scattered - on the ground and the wall. 

She soon found the Commander and all the others on the other side of the wall.

"Commander!" She addressed.

She dropped down between the Commander and Levi.

"What did you find out?" The short one asked, looking almost disinterested.

"Well..."

She quickly attracted the attention of the other Scout Regiment soldiers. 

"Hange." Erwin said, a silent command to start talking.

"Ah well, I followed the wall cultist with the ladder as you told me to do, and I was told that Minister Nick would know..."

She proceeded with telling the others what she had found out.

"And also," Hange pulled a stone out one of her several pockets. "this." She said, "It's a stone from the wall - and it's the exact same type of stone that encased Annie."

"So... there are titans in the walls?"

This was no new news to Rogue.

"Yes."

To the left of Hange, were Reiner and Bertolt. Their faces seemed to say -  _They've already found out too much._

Bertolt turned his head to his right, where he found Ymir staring straight at him with a piercing look. He swallowed a wad of anxiety. He turned away.

"Enough. We need to find out a way to get close to the enemy." Erwin said, halting the whispering, "Be on the look out for anything flying."

"What? Why?" Asked Hange.

"The crazy thing is throwing titans!"

"What is?" Hange asked, her eyebrows narrowing.

"That huge ape like titan." Sasha suddenly said. 

They all turned their heads towards the figure in the distance.

 _The thing's been throwing titans from that far away?_ Thought Levi incredulously.

The hulking titan raised it's arm as it prepared to throw another titan their way. The Corporal's eyes widened, as he yelled.

"Everyone get behind a building!"

There was a high pitched whistling and a distinct roar from their assailant.

The titan crashed into the building Mike and his remaining squad were, breaking through the roof. It was short and had a head too big for it's body. Pieces of debris flew all over the place, causing all of them to close their eyes.

A shout originating from where the titan had crashed, pierced their ears. They heard the cracking of ribs and the sound of blades cutting through flesh.

"Squad Leader!"

Mike had been caught.

"What's his condition?" Erwin was quick to catch on.

"Not good sir! I think his rib has punctured a lung!" Nanaba said, "What can I do?"

"There is nothing you can do right now."

"But he's going to die!" Gelgar yelled.

"L-Listen. There isn't anything y-you can do." Mike wheezed.

Reiner tuned out all the voices and turned to his comrade. Bertolt opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted by a loud roar. 

Rogue picked up the small titan and threw the smoking corpse back at the hulking figure - missing by a meter.

"Reiner, do it now."

"Are you sure?"

The blond haired man took a knife out of his coat pocket.

"Yes."

"Guess now's a good a time as any." 

Ymir spotted the glint of a knife and her eyes widened.

"Ymir- what's wrong?" Asked Krista.

"EVERYONE HIDE-"

There was a loud explosion of light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like an old man - my back (says the twelve year old).


	30. Too Late

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "We were too late."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter thirty (yey)
> 
> If I haven't said it already (probably haven't), this fic is canon compliant when possible (just so you know).  
> Also, this chapter is a little shorter because...school and people who visit - I just can't write anything with people watching me (my friends don't even know I write fanfiction!)
> 
> *UPDATES EVERY SATURDAY!

There was a loud explosion of light.

Wind blew into everyone, dust taking flight.

Ymir's words becoming lost in the wind.

Rogue looked backwards, in time to see the bones and flesh of a titan building up, Reiner in the middle of it. He roared ferociously, a small titan latching itself to his shoulder. He pulled it off along with the skin that the small deformed titan refused to let go of.

The Armored Titan stood there, in the middle of the town.

Connie, Jean, Sasha, Armin and Mikasa stared up at the titan in disbelief, a shadow covering them all in an ominous shape. Krista was the first to scream, a rock was lodged into her right thigh.

"Krista!"

Rogue roared again, charging for titan standing in the middle of his friends. His friends. His friends? They weren't his friends.

But it certainly felt so.

He felt hot red anger when Krista screamed in pain. Even if she was always faking her happy demeanor, her scream of pain was real.

He crushed the small titan in his hand to a pulp, his other hand up to grip the Armored Titan's head.

 _TRAITOR!_ He heard Eren screaming bloody murder,  _Kill him! KILL HIM!_

Rogue's hand met it's mark - but that was when he spotted Bertolt on the Armored Titan's shoulder.

For a moment, he stopped - that had been his downfall.

Bertolt cut his wrist in two, while the Armored Titan swept his foot under Rogue, leaving him toppling over.

"MOVE!" Mikasa yelled, pushing them all out of Rogue's path of destruction.

His back impacted the ground that they had been but a meter away from in a loud crash.

They were then standing with Krista and Ymir.

Rogue slowly stood up, his back was scratched and skin was peeling, but it was only a slight tingle to him.

The Armored Titan ran at Rogue as soon as he was up and Rogue countered, feet grappled into the dirt, he swung a left hook. But instead of damaging his opponent, he ripped his fist apart. His bones crushed and he was thrown off balance.

He was suddenly falling onto Eren's friends.  _His friends?_

Rogue rolled over to avoid them, sacrificing several precious seconds - that Bertolt capitalized on. The tall man jumped off of Reiner's shoulder and landed on Rogue's nape. Feeling the light weight on his nape, he roared - but nonetheless, he was too late. 

Mikasa tried to grapple her hooks into Rogue's back to stop Bertolt, but instead, the metal hooks bounced off of the Armored Titan's hand.

"YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS!" She screamed at them, her face contorting angrily.

Bertolt cut into his nape, cutting Eren's arms in the process.

"Eren!" Armin yelled.

On the other side, Levi tested his leg.

"Dammit. It'll have to do...!"

Humanity's Strongest Soldier then leaped into the air and took off, leaving behind the Commander and Hange along with Nanaba and Gelgar.

The sound of zipping wires was rapidly advancing on Bertolt, who was still trying to detach Eren.

"Reiner!"

But when the Armored Titan's hand came down, Levi cut it apart at the spots uncovered by the "armor." The fingers of the Armored Titan fell apart with a spray of blood.

With a hand gone, Bertolt was defenseless - it was practically be killed by Mikasa or Levi.

Or, a titan would come flying at one of the two.

There was a sharp whistling coming for Levi, he scowled and dodged out of the way - but after he had killed the titan, Bertolt was gone and so was Eren - up on the Armored Titan's shoulder.

"Dammit!" Jean yelled, as Reiner ran the other way.

Mikasa ran a few steps, but then she stopped. "We were too late."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just realized the height difference between Bertolt and Levi.   
> And also the weight difference between Mikasa (68 kg), Levi (65 kg), and Eren (63 kg)... dem muscles.


	31. Karma

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'll crush your legs and leave you both to be eaten by titans - I'll...
> 
> I'll...!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter thirty one (the real one!)
> 
> I'm back from a two week break (yey) and fully recovered (well, mostly, but close enough, haha).  
> Hope this chapter doesn't suck - I slightly rushed (well, my normal typing speed doesn't ever go over 55 words per minute, so yeah) because my teacher chose this week to absolutely drown me in homework (and volunteer work is apparently not an excuse - everyone except my volunteer buddy and I had an entire extra week! How is that fair?)  
> Anyway, I promised not to be away for more than a week, so TADAA - I got this chapter out.
> 
> *UPDATES EVERY SATURDAY!

He felt himself get ripped out of... something.

The clang of swords, the back of his shirt being tugged forcefully backwards. Cold air invaded his senses -

"Eren!"

He heard Armin yell.

The brunette heard the sound of zipping wires get closer to him.

"Reiner!" The voice sounded from directly behind him - Bertolt.

The sound of ripping flesh and then a high speed whistling.

He felt air rush past him.

"Dammit!" Jean.

The voices were a mere whisper to him by then, too far away to hear. His head was pounding with pain, a sharp sting especially present on the side of his head. His head was spinning, he could hear Bertolt, just barely, speaking.

"Reiner! Head to the forest!" He said.

_Where is this?_

Eren slowly opened his eyes, light slipping past his eyelids far too quickly. He winced, the pain in his head however, was subsiding.

Bertolt's back was turned to him - that was when he registered where he was. The grassy green of the area outside the walls, but he was too high up to be on the back of a horse. He also registered the arm supporting him.

_Where is Reiner...?_

He was on the shoulder of a titan...with Bertolt, on the Armored Titan's shoulder.

_What's happening?_

He couldn't feel his arms - 

He tried to recall what had happened.

_**You idiot, close your eyes or they'll notice you're awake.** _

_Who will?_

**_Bertolt! Damn it! You don't remember?_ **

_No, and I don't remember ever getting buddy buddy with you before. Fill me in, what happened?_ He closed his eyes before Bertolt could notice he was awake.

**_Reiner is the Armored Titan. That's why Bertolt seems to be talking to a wall and why we're on a titan's shoulder._ **

**_They want my power, they're kidnapping you._ **

_W...what?_

**_They're traitors._ **

Eren felt himself moving, Bertolt was carrying him somewhere.

_No, that can't be...I'm supposed to be dead, the execution-_

**_You're still healing from that bullet wound, Bertolt cut off your arms to get you out of my titan form's nape._ **

_I..._

Rogue could sense Eren's confusion - he had to talk some sense into him before he went and alerted them he was awake.

_**You can't use my power until your arm and head heals, so don't try - it's only a waste of time.** _

_Traitors!_

**_Get at them after you're healed, wait for when they're off guard. If you try to fight them now you'll only lose and possibly also lose another limb._ **

_DAMMIT!_

**_Cooperate with them - or at least act like you are._ **

_Fine._

**_They're not expecting you to wake up for another fifteen minutes._ **

_Why are you helping me?_

**_For one, if you die, it means I have to emergency transfer my power to a random newborn - I'd rather not._ **

_What do you mean by that?_

**_It's not important. The point is, I'd rather be stuck with you than a bratty child or be passed to a Marleyan soldier._ **

_Marleyan...?_

_**Reiner and Bertolt - they're Marleyan soldiers - your enemy. That's all you need to know right now, I'm not in the mood to give you a history lesson.** _

_Alright. How long till I'm healed?_

_**Not long.**   
_

Then, they suddenly stopped moving. Bertolt brought Eren to a branch and dropped him there to cut Reiner out of his titan. 

"Man, that was close."

Eren bristled with anger in his mind. 

_I'll kill you I swear!_

_I'll crush your legs and leave you both to be eaten by titans - I'll..._

_I'll...!_

"Hey, any idea how long it'll be till Eren wakes up?" Reiner asked in a nonchalant way.

"Any minute now."

Eren opened both of his eyes, pretending he hadn't been awake the whole time.

"Sleep well, Eren?" Reiner asked.

Eren blinked his eyes twice and slowly sat up and with burning emerald eyes, he snarled.

"You fucking traitors..." His voice came out hoarse, but the venom in it was the same level either way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I sort of had a rough time writing this chapter - I got stuck and I wasn't sure what to do... then this epic idea pops into my head out of nowhere.
> 
> "I'll crush your legs and leave you both to be eaten by titans - "  
> Does that scenario seem familiar to any of you guys? (Hint: Eren's mom.)
> 
> Hence the name of this chapter - Karma.


	32. Bleak As Ever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> But damn death, damn the dark and the unforeseen - they were going to save their friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter twenty-two.
> 
> Sorry about updating late! I wasn't expecting my mom to be watching me use my computer for a majority of the time (and as I've mentioned before, I literally can't write anything with people watching me - it's an irrational fear, I know) to top it all off, when I finally have some time to myself, I remember I have a dentist appointment.  
> The way I describe my mom makes her seem like a helicopter mom.  
> To be honest, she sort of is.
> 
> *UPDATES ON SATURDAY (at least that's my goal).

After killing the remaining titans in the village:

"How much longer for the horses?!" Levi yelled, frustration clear in his voice.

"Fuck," Jean cursed, "I don't think this situation could get any shittier."

"Don't jinx it," said Sasha with a sigh.

"At least that thing's stopped throwing titans at us." Connie said dejectedly.

Mikasa sat by the wall of a nearby half destroyed home. Her expression was blank, but her eyes betrayed her stillness. 

"Mikasa, it's alright. We can get him back still, just wait a little longer." Armin tried to assure her.

_Right, there's still a chance._

With Mike gone, the air felt sickly and unhealthy to breathe in. They had suffered so many casualties already. 

But they were getting back up from the both the Garrison and the Military Police, so they'd be fine, right?

"They're here!" Gelgar yelled.

The zips of maneuvering gear filled the empty air. 

But there wasn't as many as Mikasa had anticipated. Not even close.

"Is this all of you?" Erwin questioned a Garrison soldier.

Mikasa and all the others came into the clearing, finally seeing the amount help they would be receiving.

"Y-Yes sir. This is all of us."

"Jean, you jinxed it," Connie blanched.

There was no way they'd make it through the titan infested area with that little help. It was thirty people at most, that were standing in the ruined village, most of which had close to no encounters with titans.

"What of the Military Police?" Erwin questioned, seriousness shown in his eyes.

"Nile is deceased, so the Military Police aren't operating until they receive a new commander," Levi guessed.

The Garrison soldier who was their supposed aid, nodded mutely. 

"At least we've got horses," Hange said.

Levi gritted his teeth.

"There's no helping it, let's just get this over with." Levi said.

"Are you all suicidal?" The Garrison soldier whispered, "Just give up, there's no use trying to get that monster back - it's a useless cause...!"

Mikasa stiffened. 

_Monster._

She wasn't going to just let someone call her brother that - not after he'd caught a glimpse of him, alive and breathing.

No, she wouldn't. 

Mikasa strode up to the cowardly Garrison soldier, who's called her brother's life useless. Her gaze was burning as she stared the man down. 

"Do you want to die here, or take a risk and go out there with us and hope you come back alive?" She asked him.

"I..."

"Die for this 'useless cause' or die right here and now?"

"Ackerman, we've wasted enough time. We need to depart now," Advised Levi. 

"I...We'll try our best to help you." The Garrison soldier said.

Mikasa left the small nerve wracked group of Garrison soldiers to climb onto a horse. Her friends did the same, with intentions to save their friend - who they'd come to know as a impulsive suicidal blockhead from the two people who they had thought of as friends.

They were reluctant. 

Bertolt, Reiner... weren't they supposed to be friends, comrades? 

It felt all wrong, they were supposed to be on the same side as each other. 

As the last of them saddled onto their horses, they took off. 

"They're headed to the forest, so we can assume that they're either there to rest, or regroup with that other titan shifter that was throwing titans at us," Erwin voiced.

The Ape like Titan - who they'd all reached an understanding about, was a titan shifter. Long gone from where it had last been seen. 

The sun was high in the sky, it had taken an hour for the horses to transported over the wall - morning had already passed. The group of people belonging to the Survey Corps were already wishing for sleep.

They had no use for flares, since their group was much too small, though Erwin was leading the group anyway. 

They also had no plan whatsoever.

They were charging in, future, bleak as ever.

They were going in blind. Like walking into an unfamiliar room, with the lights off, and unseen obstacles - walking in, unsure of when they'd reach a wall to stop them and they'd finally be cornered by death. 

But damn death, damn the dark and the unforeseen - they were going to save their friend.


	33. Despicable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Do you know how many innocent lives you've taken?! You turned this world into a living hell!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter thirty-three!
> 
> Whew, I'm cleared. I got this chapter out - I honestly wasn't sure if I'd be able to, after spending a few hours of my free time baking for my dad, but I made it. The effort was worth it, even though I feel wasted now.  
> I would have absolutely hated myself if I did two late updates in a row.
> 
> *UPDATES SHOULD BE EVERY SATURDAY (or at least that's my goal)

"You fucking traitors..."

It seemed he hadn't noticed before. A jacket was tied around him to slow his healing, though steam still seemed to be rising steadily.

When Eren looked to his arm stumps, Reiner spoke up.

"Sorry, we were kind of in a hurry."

It only made him more angry than before, seeing them sit so casually, as if they hadn't just betrayed his comrades. His teeth gritted together.

"Man, I'm starving," Reiner said "We've been working our asses off all day - you think they'll promote us?"

_What is he talking about...?_

"Reiner..."

"What? I think we've well earned it."

"Hey -" Bertolt tried to say.

"I'm not saying we go demand to be promoted to captains, I'm just saying -"

"Reiner, you're not a soldier, remember...?" Bertolt's eyes held a heavy feeling, "We're warriors."

Reiner's expression went taut and then he suddenly seemed solemn.

"Right."

Eren bristled, breaking out of the fabric covering him, not paying much attention to the conversation in front of him - he knew it would only add fuel to his already raging anger.

"Eren-" Reiner looked his way.

"What is  _wrong_ with you?" Eren looked at the two of them, "You betray us, and then you play the victim? What are you playing at?"

Bertolt's expression twisted unpleasantly.

"That day, what the hell were you thinking? Tell me Bertolt." Eren's anger still fighting to be let out, but he had to know. He had to know what his mother's murderer had been thinking.

Bertolt said nothing.

"I'm talking to you, you damn lackey. You heard it all - what the fuck were you thinking when I told you about the day my mother was eaten alive?"

When neither of the traitors spoke, Eren pushed on.

"That piece of wall that went flying to my house - that was your fault, wasn't it?" Eren voice rose, "Thanks to you, my mother couldn't escape or run away. You remember, don't you?"

Bertolt finally looked up.

"What were you thinking when I told you?"

Bertolt's eyes were cold as he looked at Eren.

"Back then...I thought I felt sorry for you."

"Then what are you? You aren't soldiers or warriors...you're murderers. _Animals!_ " Eren spat at them, his yell echoed through the forest.

He would have clenched his fists had he had a pair.

"WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!" His hoarse voice screamed, "When you ate with us, sat in the same room as us - WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU  _ARE?_ You're despicable!"

"And you don't think I know that?!" Reiner yelled back at him.

"DO you?!" Eren screamed, "Do you know how many innocent lives you've  _taken?! You turned this world into a living hell!"_

His anger made him see red, his body tense.

"Does that make you happy, traitors - MURDERERS?!"

"What are you after by calling us murderers?!" Reiner was standing, "Do you want us to regret it? Do you want an apology? Would that satisfy you?!"

Reiner's fists clenched.

"The people you thought we were, no longer exist! If screaming makes you feel better, than scream your damn head off!"

The forest was then quiet. 

Eren kept quiet as well, instead taking the chance to check his surroundings. The forest floor was swarmed with smaller titans, a several larger ones. The sun was high in the sky, looking close to the afternoon. 

He snapped back into to focus when the faint sound of wires zipping began to approach.

"He's coming." Bertolt said.

_Who is?_

His question was answered when a figure came into view. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy early Hallo'ween to those who celebrate it!


	34. Luck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Forest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 34, finally.
> 
> Right, so I everyone is probably sick of waiting, so I'm going to take a break from editing and that shit (I could just do that later...right?), anyway - here is your long awaited chapter!

The forest was in view, had been for a while, but the pace they were going at was maddening.

Levi contemplated telling Erwin and Hange about the titan shifter in the midst of their soldiers. He simply hadn't had the time to put it into words, with all the commotion about Eren's supposed execution. 

Ymir would be their trump card.

 _I'll tell them later,_ he decided.

"10 METER ABNORMAL SPOTTED!" Yelled Sasha, voice quivering.

Their measly reinforcements shook with fear stricken faces.

_Dammit, this is what they call backup? It wouldn't matter if they sent fifty more, they can't fight at all._

The ground trembled with the abnormal's pounding foot steps, it's shaggy brown hair flying everywhere, on all fours. It's legs crushed the grass, drool dripped out it's mouth to drip on lilac flowers.

Once upon a time, a chestnut haired girl would have been picking up those flowers.

They were still on flat terrain, someone experienced would need to do it, lest a life be lost and as predicted, it was Mikasa who did it. Maneuvering and flipping in midair at an impossible speed.

The backup force gaped like children.

They left the titan's steaming corpse without a word out of Hange.

In an instant, it was like they were there and then they weren't. They had arrived in a damp living forest, so similar to the place his friends - he liked to think they had been his friends - had left to be part of his team of the dearly departed.

"We need to get a move on, leave your horses here, but do not lose them. We will be moving by gear for now."

They didn't know where Reiner and Bertolt had taken Eren, though they had an idea. It would be logical to be in a place with a good view, high in the treetops, a place they could escape from easily.

A rustle of leaves alerted them to an arrival - who then darted away.

Away went the mysterious arrival, onward with searching intentions they went.

Cautious they were, so not to miss the slightest sound - the man seemed not to have any gear, which meant it was not Reiner nor Bertolt - it had to be the third titan shifter, the Ape Titan, they had nicknamed him.

_Shink!_

A knife cut into Gelgar's arm.

"Come back here!" He said, brandishing her blade as the perpetrator darted away.

"Who -" Nanaba came to his aid.

"It's nobody we've ever seen before, it isn't the Yeager kid, or the traitors."

Soon enough, Erwin was asking what he looked liked.

"A guy, white hair, glasses."

The kept walking, staying a slightly more knit group than before.

Soon, a backup force member was plucked from them - at least they were close to their mode of transport they hadn't needed to carry the corpse very far.

A glint in the forest trees had caught Levi's eye - it was the metal of their maneuver gear.

They had stumbled across Reiner and Bertolt.

_What luck._


	35. Half-Brother

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "How do I know you aren't bluffing?" He asked, skeptical.
> 
> "You don't. But are you sure you're willing to take that chance?" Levi knew he wasn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the wait! I got caught up in real life (oh and happy late new year)
> 
> Something I wanted to say, I don't read manga. Which means I don't know much about Attack on Titan other than the information already revealed in the anime and a couple odd clips on youtube - that makes things really difficult.  
> To cut it short, I can't write more without reading the manga. I'd very much rather see the anime (it has colors and I can make out more details - the manga isn't too clear).  
> I don't know what type of person Zeke is, so manga readers - he might seem out of character for just this chapter.
> 
> This is likely the last chapter I'll be posting before season 3 of Attack on Titan is released, so hope to see you all then! (By the time they release season 3, it's likely I'd have already edited/read over all the chapters!)

Reiner and Bertolt seemed to be talking - Eren sat on the branch of a separate tree. 

_That should make this easier._

"He's coming," Bertolt said, "Your half-brother."

"What are you talking about?" Eren asked, sounding as confused as he felt.

"Zeke Yeager," Reiner answered, "ring a bell?"

Eren looked to be thinking hard.

Levi chose to stay in the shade. Perhaps Zeke was the name of the Beast Titan - and the assailant that had been trying to pick them off.

His head whipped around, and behind him stood a man with white hair, dressed in casual attire.

_Dammit, what happened to being prepared for everything?_

A knife was being held to his throat, thin metal glinting.

 _I didn't even hear him sneaking up on me,_ Levi remarked in his head.

"We have no real use for you, do we?"

"Who knows? Maybe I have something important to say."

"Reiner, Bertolt, I'm here," the man - Zeke - said louder, "you two would have died had I not stopped him. Exercise proper caution." 

Eren recognized the short man, "Corporal Levi," He whispered.

"Yes sir!" Bertolt and Reiner said.

Reiner unsheathed his sword and held it by the Corporal's chin while discarding Levi's own blades. 

Meanwhile, Eren was puzzled as to why Rogue was telling him not to trust his half-brother.

"Eren," Zeke addressed, "it's nice to finally meet you."

At this, Eren's eyes darkened.

Levi could help him escape, he was Humanity's Strongest Soldier. But without a weapon, they'd likely kill Levi as soon as they tried to run. As far as he knew, Levi wasn't of any use at the moment.

"I regret that we must meet in a situation such as this, but it could not be helped," Eren's half-brother went on - until Bertolt spoke up.

"Sir, I think it would be best if we leave now. The Survey Corps have not yet found us."

"Yes... there will be time to talk later."

"Wait, where are you taking us?" Eren inquired.

"Home," is all that they told him.

Zeke backed away from Eren slowly, while telling Reiner to knock him out - he knew Eren wouldn't come quietly.

As Zeke approached Levi, he took his blade out, while Levi stared him down - he was going to kill him.

"Unfortunately, we don't need you, we only came for Eren. Now stay still," said Zeke, knife in his hand.

"Bullshit. Don't tell me you weren't hoping to come across the other titan shifter here?"

 

Eren wondered what he was talking about.

_Another titan shifter? On our side?_

"H-Hey, look at me? Does it look like I can fight at all?" Eren shuffled backwards.

Reiner advanced, rope in his hands. His not yet healed arms steamed.

_Think I can't fight?_

He lunged at him with a crazed yell.

"DIE! DIE! DIE! DAMMIT!" He spat at the one he used to look up to.

 _Traitor!_ He thought, as Levi tried to convince Zeke to let him live.

 

"Do you know who it might be?" Inquired Zeke.

"As a matter of fact, I do. And if you kill me, you'll never know who it is."

"How do I know you aren't bluffing?" He asked, skeptical.

"You don't. But are you sure you're willing to take that chance?" Levi knew he wasn't.

"You're planning to escape, that much is obvious. You hope your friends will save you, don't you?"

"I'll take that chance." Levi said, as Zeke tied his hands behind his back.

There was no way he would win if he tried to fight back against the man - he was armed and highly cautious. His lackeys, Reiner and Bertolt, weren't exactly weak either.

By the time Reiner had knocked Eren out, he had sustained numerous steaming bruises on his face.

"Let's go. We're taking him with us." Zeke said.

Reiner and Bertolt didn't question it.

They wouldn't be able to outrun the Survey Corps if they delayed any longer, so Reiner ran a blade across his palm and turned into the infamous Armored Titan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, I really have no idea what Zeke is like other than him being the Beast Titan (I thought he might be sort of like a superior to Reiner and Bertolt, but I don't know what to think)...
> 
> I'll definitely fix that (someday).


End file.
